Almond Joy-Mounds Syndrome

Someone who is bipolar. Originates from the famous ad campaign for the candy bar where the slogan was "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you dont...."

Personally, Susan looks like she is suffering from the Almond Joy-Mounds syndrome

by Luis H. November 19, 2004

Scorched Almond

To place a testicle into the anus. When it is pulled out it is covered in faeces.

John: Do you remember that girl Hannah?
Tom: Yeah?
John: Well I just gave her a Scorched Almond, my nut hurts but it felt so good!
Tom: *leaves*

by Flute Salad October 9, 2015

Sloppy Almond

A sexual move perfected by Tibetan Monks at the turn of the century. The almond is indicative of there brown robes and the sloppiness is simply how they roll.

The move is performed by bending you partner’s right leg behind their ear. Then simply insert your nuts in to their mouth while kicking them in the baby maker.

You know you have perfected the move when your nuts remain in tact at the end of the "experience."

That chick was so drunk last night she was begging for the Sloppy Almond. Instead I slipped her the Filthy Cashew.

by Mc Lovin' November 1, 2007

Salty Almond

When a man defecates then ejaculates on his feces. He then let's it dry and become crusty, then feeds it to his partner.

This can be carried out Man to Man or Man to Woman.

She was into the Skat shit, so I gave her a Salty Almond.

by Tommygun3833 May 11, 2017

Almond butter and jam sandwich

The term used to convey, " A BJ?" over text without actually sending the words: " Do you want a BJ?"

Best used for lovers who are sexting in secret, and afraid to be caught should someone find their phones.

Gurl Texting: Do you want an almond butter and jam sandwich later?

Guy: Hells yeah.

by rawrgirly1998 November 18, 2011

Slobbery Almond

Main Entry: slobb-er-y a-lmond
Function: noun, verb
Etymology: (Hebrew: עֲמוֹרָה)
History: First appeared in early Hebrew scrolls in the classic story of Sodom and Gomorrah. The perverse sexual act was removed in modern day versions of the Old Testament.

Definition: When a man forces his testicles into the anus of his partner (male or female)

noun|

You: "I gave her the good ol' slobbery almond last night."

Friend: "Yeesh"

verb |

You: "I slobbery almonded (or almond slobberied) her last night."

Friend: "Wow"

by Otineb January 15, 2010

The Spicy Almond

Just like how blowing bubbles is done, you're gonna cover the head of your penis in hand sanitizer. Then have your girlfriend hold a lit lighter in front of your penis as you cum. Your semen will then have the hand sanitizer mixed in that will be ignited by the lighter. Resulting in a sticky flammable substance much like napalm.

Chad 1: What'd ya do last night?
Chad 2: I just gave Jessica "The Spicy Almond" last night
Chad 1: Shit did you end up burning her?
Chad 2: Naw she just took it like a flaming shot

by shottymcshotface November 28, 2020