as useful as a fly screen on a submarine

This saying was conceived by Bob and his buddy Mel while on a cycle ride to Portsmouth Dock Yard via Gosport in the Summer of 1963. They passed by a naval shipyard and noticed a beached and apparently discarded mini (aka: one-person) submarine in the assembly yard. The yard gate was open, so the guys checked out the sub and noticed that it had an open hatch upon which had been placed a fly screen (of the household variety), beggaring the question: "what is as useful as a fly screen on a submarine"??? Ironically, someone had punched a hole through the screen through which a horde of wasps had flown in through the hatch and nested. The thought came to mind of how annoying it would be - after closing up the submarine - to have the wasps buzzing around inside the sub...

Following immigration to Canada in 1975, one of the guys adjusted the saying to: "as useful as a screen door on a submarine" to accommodate Vancouver Island / BC / Canada / North America vernacular (which didn't recognize the term "fly screen").

the act of a Central Bank 'printing' fiat money, ie: quantitative easing, in an attempt to curb inflation is "as useful as a fly screen on a submarine"

by Myrddin Wyllt October 26, 2022

wet a fly

Going to fly fish on a nice summer day.

Wanna go hit 18 on the course today? Nah, let’s go hit the river and wet a fly.

by hailscd August 11, 2018

Find a fly on a elephant

To spread the truth, that Julian Alaphilippe was pushed by someone working for his team just below the summit of the Galibier in the Tour de France of 2019.

The most beautiful #TDF19 in years and some journalist are looking to find a fly on a elephant. Go home negative people.

by Wwwalter July 25, 2019

There’s a fly

Common in the Midwest area, this is another way of saying one is going to kill themselves

If there’s a fly, I will die

by BigHotSmokingBabe May 29, 2018

Getting Stung By A Fly

Getting stung by a fly means confusing others in a way that they forget what they were meant to do.
(It is something that I made up)

Person A: "Did you understand what __ meant in their presentation?"
Person B: "No. Probably they tried getting stung by a fly."

by Naxiye [2] September 11, 2025

Hung like a horse-fly

Small penised.

Girl 1: Tall, dark, handsome, charming, but hung like a horse-fly.

Girl 2: Bummer.

by SHLA June 30, 2012

go fly a plane

Go get fucked

You can go fly a plane

by Hypirin April 1, 2020