offset morningwood

Offset morningwood is when you wake up normally with no morning wood and you get up and minutes after you get out of bed morning wood hits you
*billy comes out of his room and starts to make breakfast*

Mom: oh my god billy is that your morningwood

Billy: nah fam issa offset morningwood
by Those arab guys August 27, 2017
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Morningwood Docking

A rare coincidence that occurs when two men sleep next to one another and one of them later wakes to find that his morningwood is inadvertently docking with the other man's morningwood. One of the participants must be uncircumcised for a true instance of morningwood docking to occur.
- If you tell anyone that I was morningwood docking you the morning after that party I will fucking kill you.
- Let's never talk about how we were morningwood docking again.
by Realtip June 30, 2013
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Morningwood hustle

When you wake up with wood and you are unable to boner lean so you have to stand a few feet away from the toilet to piss and then have to shuffle towards the toilet as the urine stream weakens so you don't piss on the floor.
Had to do the morningwood hustle when I woke up with a boner, still peed on the floor a bit though, dang!
by bunghammer January 20, 2011
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Morningwood blues

The strong emotional sensation associated with morning wood, or waking up with a boner. It usually results in minor depression and having to pee, only cured by a severely guilt inducing masturbation session to underaged midget porn.
Santiago: aye, compadre, I almost killed my self after watching Lisa Ann take it from a ten year old three footer but it was the only way to get rid of that often morningwood blues.

Phil- whatever man, Ya gotta do what u you gotta do.
by Shazeef January 08, 2015
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team morningwood

Girls who use their mouths to take care of their boyfriends or husbands with morningwood
I did my duty for Team Morningwood and sucked Billy's cock when I woke up this morning.
by Billy D. Williams November 16, 2007
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