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Meet the engineer

Hey look buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems.

A shot rings out and a bullet hole appears next to the Engineer's head

Engie: Not problems like "What is beauty?", 'cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.

Another two bullet holes appear, on the other side of the Engie's head.

Engineer: I solve practical problems.

the shot zooms out to show a level 2 sentry shooting offscreen while the Engie takes a long drink from his beer.

Heavy: AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Engineer: For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean Mother-Hubbard from tearin' me a structurally superfluous new behind?

A level 1 sentry turns around and shoots a sniper who was trying to creep up on the Engie from behind.

Engineer: The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun.

Another level 3 sentry fired a salvo of rockets, blowing up someone offscreen.

Someone, probably the scout: MY AAAARRRMMMM!!!!!

a blown-off hand lands at the Engie's feet

Engie: Like this, heavy-caliber tripod-mounted little-old-number designed by me,

Engie kicks the hand off screen as a level 1 sentry blows it apart

Engie: Built by me,

A level 1 sentry shoots offscreen

Engie: and you best hope;

The Engie's expression darkens, and he stares right at the camera

Engie: not pointed at you.
by Hey look buddy I’m an engineer September 19, 2020
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Mastering Engineering

An online homework program designed to rob college students of their hard-earned money and serve as a crutch for professors too lazy to write their own homework assignments or to teach. Its purpose, beyond making millions for the publishing company, is apparently to reduce the number of engineering graduates in the United States by utterly demoralizing and destroying their confidence in an effort to force them to drop the program and/or kill themselves.
I used up all but one attempt on this stupid Mastering Engineering problem, before I realized it had switched everything to kiloOhms instead of Ohms! And then I still got it wrong! FML!
by kypok April 16, 2012
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engineer gaming

engineer gaming: engineer gaming

Person 1: engineer gaming

Person 2: engineer gaming
by H aka Eyy Luigi? June 7, 2020
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Over-Engineered

Anything made by Stuff Made Here YouTube channel
That lock was over-engineered.
by Billiest bob joe May 31, 2021
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Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer

A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.

Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.
After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.
by Louisiana Gold December 21, 2008
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edgenuity

The horrible online learning site that takes 50 fucking years because the teachers explain everything in excruciating detail and never fucking shut up.
"Do these Edgenuity lessons for homework."

"FUCKING GOD DAMN IT."
by PLAYERLXIV May 8, 2018
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ENGINEERINUITY

1)TO BE ABLE TO BUILD ANYTHING FROM NOTHING . BUT NOT PROBLEM SOLVING-- SOLUTION FINDING
Taking a skill saw and a skid and making a working table saw is real engineerinuity
by DAMN-NEBULI April 3, 2015
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