A Scottish/British male who weaponizes “just banter,” mixed signals, and perfectly timed vulnerability to sleep with all his female friends — while technically never leading anyone on. Claims he’s a workaholic with no time for labels, yet runs multiple emotional side quests across time zones. Overuses the word keen. Dresses badly on purpose to seem harmless. Has the emotional capability of a spoon. Is your best friend when you’re single, disappears when you get a boyfriend, and mysteriously respawns the week you’re single again. Won’t text “u up?” — will invite you to Chile on a whim while currently on holiday with a different “friend” aka lover.
He ahmered me perfectly: I planned the trip, did all the driving, slept with him, and he was texting five other “besties” the whole time.
by kneeduh February 10, 2026
Get the Ahmer mug.A Scottish/British fboy who emotionally roams North America collecting girls aka “friends” for years, proudly carrying the emotional range of a spoon. Most likely professions: medicine or human rights, so he can lecture on his saint-like qualities while literally screwing you.
Ahmers treat your life like a revolving door — in, out, back in, all for their amusement.
Friend 1: “Wait… weren’t you two best friends for five years?”
Friend 2: “Yeah, but he’s such an Ahmer — lectures on morality while screwing every girl in his friend group.”
Friend 1: “Wait… weren’t you two best friends for five years?”
Friend 2: “Yeah, but he’s such an Ahmer — lectures on morality while screwing every girl in his friend group.”
by kneeduh February 10, 2026
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