A few weeks ago, I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was accidentally reducing my trailer van into mere atoms with a tree branch. In panic, I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was blaming the act on my cat because I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, an individual individually pursuing the individual goal of individually assisting individuals in achieving individuality named Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was wishing to avoid hurting my reputation. Soon, my cat was in jail and being investigated by the CIA. I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was concerned for my cat and wondering if he (named Michael) would be alright, because, as it turns out, my cat Michael is a rare type of cat that is actually a human. Michael’s last name is Scott. Yes, I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was owning the man from popular comedy show “The Office”, as the show was deeply tied to my childhood (specifically the part of my childhood where I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, had yet to be born) on a superficial level. I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was relatively certain that my cat was going to be deported to a third-world Central American country and was being imprisoned there, perhaps being forced to do labor (unpaid). I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was worried about losing my unpaid laborer to different unpaid labor, and I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was panicking and fearful for my cat’s safety.
by Bob B. Bobberton December 10, 2025
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by johnson458 April 2, 2024
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by Kylee Mandez April 13, 2024
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by ItsYeeBoyTom April 21, 2024
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Wayne- “when I was at camp they pulled a Carson Johnson on me”
Chuck- “oh shit did they ejaculate in your nose”
Wayne- “they pulled the CJ special and did it in my ears as well”
Chuck- “oh shit did they ejaculate in your nose”
Wayne- “they pulled the CJ special and did it in my ears as well”
by anonymous April 23, 2024
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