toilet paper

What your ancestors used in sacred rituals protecting different holes of the human body which is now extinct due to the SARS2.0 global outbreak.

Son, there once was a time when humans really got their heads up their asses, buying & stocking toilet paper as if it was the cure or as if a virus was about to attack their assholes and food & water were very low down the list of survival items.

by YuZzaFo0L March 24, 2020

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Toilet Pi

When you treasure your time in the toilet to let your wandering mind act as a catalyst to increase your chances of experiencing an aha about or on the number π.

Carlos looks forward to doing his daily business because on a few occasions he’s struck with some toilet pi epiphanies.

by Numerati November 12, 2023

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Toilet Paper Ascot

Clamping toilet paper with your chin while beating off, making it accessible to clean up your huge load quickly.

A gentleman never forgets his toilet paper ascot when he comes……you spelled cum wrong.

by High Society October 28, 2012

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Toilet bowl talker

A toilet bowl talker is someone who likes to talk on their phone while sitting on the toilet. Toilet bowl talkers are not very bright and they're also slobs who don't give a shit. By far the majority of toilet bowl talkers are male. They are not that intelligent because if they are talking, while on the toilet, to a girlfriend, it doesn't occur to them that she may overhear his farting and she may be put off by it – but then again the toilet bowl talker wouldn't give a shit. Toilet bowl talkers are the sort of people who burp and fart around others because it makes them feel manly. It's a way of broadcasting that they don't give a shit but this is also an indication that they like smelling other people's farts, because since they fart around others, then they are unknowingly inviting others to fart around them. This is another sign of their low intelligence. Another peculiar tendency about toilet talkers is that when they are in a public restroom that has several stalls they will pick the stall that is right next to an occupied one instead of spacing out their distance and shitting next to an empty stall. This is because they like to smell farts and the odor of another guy's turds. Toilet bowl talkers wear shit stained underwear because they don't do a good job of wiping their ass (most of them don't wipe at all) and they're the kind of people who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom and they'd never consider using poo-pourri because that would be too unmanly.

When I am in my bathroom in my apartment I can hear a toilet bowl talker from the floor directly above me. Because of the bathroom's echo I can hear every word the toilet bowl talker has to say in his “private” conversation.

by Bill Beef June 25, 2025

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