I can change you

When a straight male think he's hot enough to make a lesbian straight (he's not)

Straight male: You're lesbian?
Lesbian: yeah
Straight male: I can change you
Lesbian: no, but I can punch you in the middle of your ugly face

by Kittyferns June 2, 2023

I can make this better

What every Asian mom would say after eating food made by someone else

Me: *trys to enjoy some pizza*
My Asian mom: I can make this better

by spectre729 July 30, 2019

Watching Trash Cans Dry

It's like watching paint dry, but smells like ass usually. Also beware of abbundance of free time.

Boss: What did you get done?
Worker: It was like watching trash cans dry?
Boss: What?
Worker: You know what I mean.
Boss: They are still wet though.
Worker: Exactly that's why I've been smoking for the last 5 hours I don't know why they take so long.

by Tyranid5 August 17, 2011

Penguin who can fly

Calling someone a penguin who can fly is like saying you existence should be meaning they are to advanced for humanity it is used in a positive way

How do you do that your like a penguin who can fly!

by Cy_ January 2, 2021

I can fap to this febuary

lower your horny standards after january

Friend: hey dude look at this photo of my mom
You: Good thing it's I can fap to this febuary!
You: That turned me on!!!!

by big man 22211155 November 1, 2022

can he love me?

SADLY NO HAHAHAH :(
GO SEARCH SOMEONE ELSE TO LOVE :)
just give up don't hurt yourself :)

can he love me? .......

by blazezo_xcn April 29, 2021

can you tell the time

The first thing your wife says to you when you come home drunk.

<Robert> *Staggers in drunk*
<Mary> Can you tell the time?
<Robert> *Blatant confusion*

by i love having no friends June 23, 2021