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by UltimateDoge May 3, 2021
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Curb Hermits (noun) —
A subspecies of urban cryptid known for their sacred ritual of chain-smoking Marlboros on the same section of curb every day like it’s their personal throne of apathy.
These nicotine-powered philosophers emerge from unknown crevices at odd hours to contemplate life, loudly overshare trauma, and yell “you got a light?” at passing pigeons. Their natural enemies include: showers, employment, and any form of productive behavior.
Found primarily outside gas stations, 24-hour liquor stores, and anywhere weed smells like regret, Curb Hermits operate on a strict diet of American Spirits, Monster Energy, and unmedicated chaos.
Do not approach unless you’re offering a cigarette, gossip, or existential despair.
A subspecies of urban cryptid known for their sacred ritual of chain-smoking Marlboros on the same section of curb every day like it’s their personal throne of apathy.
These nicotine-powered philosophers emerge from unknown crevices at odd hours to contemplate life, loudly overshare trauma, and yell “you got a light?” at passing pigeons. Their natural enemies include: showers, employment, and any form of productive behavior.
Found primarily outside gas stations, 24-hour liquor stores, and anywhere weed smells like regret, Curb Hermits operate on a strict diet of American Spirits, Monster Energy, and unmedicated chaos.
Do not approach unless you’re offering a cigarette, gossip, or existential despair.
In the wild:
“Bro, don’t make eye contact with the Curb Hermits outside 7-Eleven. One of them asked me what year it was and then tried to sell me a dreamcatcher made of gum wrappers.”
“Bro, don’t make eye contact with the Curb Hermits outside 7-Eleven. One of them asked me what year it was and then tried to sell me a dreamcatcher made of gum wrappers.”
by Heyitspatt May 29, 2025
Get the Curb Hermits mug.Also known as a "garden hermit"; a person hired by wealthy landowners in the 18th century to live in solitude in a specially built hermitage, folly, or grotto on their estate, acting as a living decoration. They were expected to embody the qualities of a druid and live a secluded life, often with specific rules like growing their hair and beard long and not washing. In return for their service, they received lodging, food, and a stipend. Landowners and their guests might occasionally consult their garden hermits for advice, stories, or entertainment.
Landowners placed advertisements in local newspapers seeking ornamental hermits to live on their property for long spans of time (7 years, in one instance).One legend goes that someone's ornamental hermit was found drinking at a local pub 3 weeks into their tenure, thus breaching their contract.
by A. Patmos November 27, 2025
Get the ornamental hermit mug.A hermit may also be a male with a penis that is much shorter than their testicles when flaccid, representing the animal of the hermit crab.
The penis is suppose to represent a hermit crab hiding away in the shell, which is the testicles.
'Hermit', is used most commonly as an insult without factual evidence, mainly directed at friends as a joking insult, however could become quite personal if the person does own a hermit. The insult would usually be directed if the person does something stupid and would therefore be called a hermit, just like they could be called a idiot, however hermit is a lot worse, but shouldn't be taken seriously.
The penis is suppose to represent a hermit crab hiding away in the shell, which is the testicles.
'Hermit', is used most commonly as an insult without factual evidence, mainly directed at friends as a joking insult, however could become quite personal if the person does own a hermit. The insult would usually be directed if the person does something stupid and would therefore be called a hermit, just like they could be called a idiot, however hermit is a lot worse, but shouldn't be taken seriously.
Mike, you're such a hermit lad
Did you hear, Lucy said Connor's penis is tiny after last night, it looks like a hermit!
Did you hear, Lucy said Connor's penis is tiny after last night, it looks like a hermit!
by TheP071 May 5, 2018
Get the Hermit mug.Someone who loves the shit out of fresh powpow and prefers the silence of the mountains to the buzz of city life.
"I'm going to be a mountain snow hermit all weekend and will return to work as planned on Monday. Peace bitches."
by Chinesechicken! March 14, 2016
Get the mountain snow hermit mug.The Definition of a cunt
by LyinFoo January 23, 2017
Get the boris the hermit mug.