Hym "I'm sorry for openly stating that I totally see why people want and/or seek out to kill you and/or your kids (in the context of my experiences with people who are not me). I'm sorry that you are not an authority to which I can be held accountable. I'm sorry that your behavior is not the direct result of my behavior. To believe that YOUR BEHAVIOR... Is the result of my behavior... Is to insinuate that I somehow both control your behavior... And did it wrong in such an egregious fashion... That I now need to cede authority over my own behavior... To you... Indefinitely... And, in contradictory fashion, I also DON'T control your behavior... Because I cannot and should not be able to stop you from behaving as you are now... Nor am I justified in seeking to affect your behavior... Because I'm only allow to control your behavior by doing things you don't like and then allowing you to use your behavior as social punishment... But I'm NOT ALLOWED to control your behavior by telling you what you can or cannot do... And I'm going to apologize one last time... Because... If you believe anything even VAGUELY ANALOGOUS to what I just said... You... ARE IN FACT... AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING RETARD! That is a Schrodinger's box-esque narcissistic delusion where I am both in control of how you behave and not in control of how you behave."
by Hym Iam August 28, 2023
Get the Apologizemug. The Strickland apology: “I’ll apologize, I’ll even take back what I said. I’ll remove posts, I’ll kill you and ruin your life and mine way before we step into the cage” -Strickland
by Panderift June 6, 2024
Get the strickland apologymug. When you have messed up really bad and your boyfriend/girlfriend is to the point of something drastic. Such as breaking up. Time to step it up, asshole and put on the pants.
Person: I messed up big time. My girlfriend is going to be so upset. I think she is going to break up with me!
Person 2: You know what time it is then
Person 1: No, What?!
Person 2: It's Apology Pants Time!
Person 2: You know what time it is then
Person 1: No, What?!
Person 2: It's Apology Pants Time!
by Jenasis December 21, 2018
Get the Apology Pants Timemug. A person who apologizes to you but later tries to justify their means (after they’ve already apologized.)
Not taking full accountability; an ungenuine apology.
Not taking full accountability; an ungenuine apology.
Him: “I’m sorry I entertained other girls.”
*10 minutes later*
“Well you fucked that dude 2 years ago and I forgave you for it.”
Her: Your using the past in your favor to justify your actions!!! What a broken apology you just gave!!!
*10 minutes later*
“Well you fucked that dude 2 years ago and I forgave you for it.”
Her: Your using the past in your favor to justify your actions!!! What a broken apology you just gave!!!
by Butterflywhisperer July 8, 2020
Get the Broken apologymug. A kind of apology that makes you wanna slap you friend across the face. They take this apology so sarcastically, they sound like an ass when they say it.
by Bombshells hair salon bitch March 8, 2015
Get the Ass Apologymug. A way of saying "sorry" for a mistake you made to fix the damage you cause to the other person's life. Sometimes it's a way of showing the other person you still care about your relationship and that you are willing to give up your pride in order of saving it.
by aaiitukituki November 17, 2016
Get the Apologymug. To make an apology for something relatively insubstantial, even mostly irrelevant, while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge something more grievous.
Bonus points if the apology is insultingly insincere and the apologist demands privacy and respect.
Named after Matt Hancock, Secretary of State for Health and Social Care of the UK, who was filmed having an extramarital romantic liaison - kissing and groping - an aide he personally hired. Hancock refused to acknowledge the romantic and sexual element of this interaction and, instead, chose to apologise for "breaching social distancing guidelines." He then asked for privacy for this "personal matter", alluding to the alleged affair sighted, while completely refusing to acknowledge the affair.
Bonus points if the apology is insultingly insincere and the apologist demands privacy and respect.
Named after Matt Hancock, Secretary of State for Health and Social Care of the UK, who was filmed having an extramarital romantic liaison - kissing and groping - an aide he personally hired. Hancock refused to acknowledge the romantic and sexual element of this interaction and, instead, chose to apologise for "breaching social distancing guidelines." He then asked for privacy for this "personal matter", alluding to the alleged affair sighted, while completely refusing to acknowledge the affair.
Jane: "You cheated on me over 15 years, murdered my mother, and stole all of my money. Why did you do all of this, you wasteman?"
Matt: "To invoke the Hancock apology, I am sorry that I ate all of your green Gummy Bear sweets. It was very wrong of me and I apologise. I would now like you to respect my privacy on this personal matter."
Matt: "To invoke the Hancock apology, I am sorry that I ate all of your green Gummy Bear sweets. It was very wrong of me and I apologise. I would now like you to respect my privacy on this personal matter."
by BroJayDee June 26, 2021
Get the Hancock apologymug.