Almond Boyfriend

An almond boyfriend is a gymbro that has taken their protein intake and calorie count a little too far. They don't eat any flavourful food and all of their 'snacks' have added protein. This behaviour often affects their friends and partners, as going out for a meal or to the pub is as difficult as going out with a vegan. They are allergic to fun, won't eat any pasta, ice-cream, sweets and often, alcohol.

You can find snacks in their house such as: protein yoghurt, dried mango, psyllium husk powder, lentil crisps, nuts, lion's mane, skinny milk, cottage cheese, protein powder, graze oat bars, skyr, protein bars, overnight oats, protein cereal.

A typical Almond Boyfriend meal would consist of rice, boiled broccoli and no spice flesh colour chicken breast. No flavour must be tasted in the food.

Some people are gluten free. Almond Boyfriends are fun free.
Ben doesn't like fizzy drinks, he's an Almond Boyfriend.
I watch a movie with my Almond Boyfriend – he didn't have any popcorn so we ate dried apricots.
Jack doesn't cook with any spice, I think he's an Almond Boyfriend.

by pumpkinspicedemon November 29, 2024

Almond Joy

The act of inserting ones genitals in their lovers vagina when you're unable to go deeper.

Amanda wanted clinger to go deeper when he was already balls deep so he almond joy'd the shit out of her.

by Nate716 April 28, 2015

Almond Breeze

When a man nuts on a woman's ass hole and she farts the nut back at him

Hey baby, lets do something kinky tonight, want to try an almond breeze?

by Redline06 August 15, 2023

Almond Vibe

Someone with a beautiful aura or energy, but sassy too in a cute way.

Note: Usually used for females

You give me almond vibes

by Avrama August 3, 2025

almond rest

Another name for a person's chin. It's the place to rest one's almonds (nuts) while being fellated.

Dude, check out her almond rest. Looks comfy.

by habs10 May 6, 2010

Poppy Almond

Often mistaken for a Dweeb. None the less, one of the coolest people you know...

That girl "Poppy Almond" is such a dweeb' 'They dont come much cooler though man' 'Yeah your right man, shes way too cool to be called a dweeb... Im so stupid!

by BiggestNerd November 12, 2010

Almond joy

When you rub coconut oil on the anus and eat out someones booty

I ate philly’s booty with coconut oil damn thats a almond joy

by philly2trenchy November 24, 2021