California's Almonds refers to a coping mechanism employed by individuals living outside the United States who aspire to experience the American Dream. By purchasing and consuming almonds—a product overwhelmingly sourced from California—they create a small, tangible connection to the USA, no matter their current location. It's a way to momentarily feel closer to the desired American lifestyle, one handful of probably-American-made nuts at a time.
Even though I'm stuck in Russia, I always keep a bag of California's Almonds in the pantry. It’s a small comfort, a little taste of the America I dream about
by eviscerated_elegy July 27, 2025

My roommate's spending the weekend with her boyfriend as a sex slave, so I'm going to be roasting the almond all weekend!
by nastychicken June 26, 2016

by catsmeller37 April 21, 2023

Gets excited over boxes. Pretends to love football and be one of the lads, but really he loves shopping and women's clothes.
Thinks he is a social butterfly, but everybody else thinks he's a bit of nob.
Thinks he is a social butterfly, but everybody else thinks he's a bit of nob.
by Mr Joe Bloggs December 6, 2016

it's called almond milk because nobody can say nut juice without a straight face
THIS WAS MADE BY JESSICA A. DON'T TAKE MY CREDIT
THIS WAS MADE BY JESSICA A. DON'T TAKE MY CREDIT
by JESS THE SQUIRREL April 5, 2021

ie - Phil: "what's brown and sticky?"
Neil: "I don't know, what's brown and sticky?"
Phil: "A stick!"
Lee: "shut up you roasted almonds"
Neil: "I don't know, what's brown and sticky?"
Phil: "A stick!"
Lee: "shut up you roasted almonds"
by Gammonsteak July 16, 2014

by Jmalcolmz17 October 26, 2017
