Choking the turtle 

Clenching one's butt cheeks to prevent a bowel movement.

I shouldn't have eaten that 7-11 burrito, I've been choking the turtle for the last 15 minutes.

Choking the turtle by Johnny Quag September 23, 2014

Retard Turtle 

When performing the Awkward Turtle, The person who doesn't know how to properly conduct it and instead face the palms to each other.

Person 1: *Performs retard turtle* "Awkward..."
Person 2: Dude, that turtle is retarded.

Retard Turtle by MikenRiss July 8, 2010

Awkward Turtle Equals Awkward Babies! 

When you get a bit sick of the boring old 'Awkward Turtle'

Used by putting one hand on top of each other and gesturing the thumbs forward (signifying the awkward turtle.) Then take your two hands into fists and bang them together (the erm, baby making) and finally keep your hands in fists but take your thumb and pinky out and move forward (signifying the babies.)

Put it together fast and you get it! :D

Boy: Hey, erm I like you.
Girl: I er, like you too.
*Laughs awkwardly*
Boy: Awkward turtle...!
Girl: Awkward turtle equals awkward babies!

Awkward Turtle Equals Awkward Babies! by gilliaanx August 5, 2011

tardy the turtle 

"Slow" turtle from 'The Greg the Bunny Show". Has a Phd from Harvard and like to eat sandwiches.

Tardy the Turtle:"The crayon's taste like purple"

tardy the turtle by theangryscot September 29, 2006

evict the turtle 

From "Turtle heading," when you force out the "Turtle, also see "Decapitate" the turtle

"dude, i was turtle heading so bad, totally busting my guts, till im gonna go evict the turtle in your room"

evict the turtle by Dan the pc butcher February 29, 2008

Ultimate turtle 

An extemely slow-moving, lazy, or sluggish person or object. Often has the phrase "at the pace of" preceeding it.

"This person in front of us is walking at the pace of an ultimate turtle"

"The ketchup is coming out of the bottle at the pace of an ultimate turtle"

Ultimate turtle by Amy B. November 24, 2005

new jersey turtle-foot 

a new jersey turtle foot is the act of, lathering ones foot in vasoline, and having an obese male/female insert the lubricated foot into their anus and keeps pushing it in and out.

dude1: DUDE i got a new bottle of vasoline today!
dude2: we HAVE to get jerry to new jersey turtle-foot with us!

new jersey turtle-foot by xRECREANTx June 8, 2011