New Jersey - Part 3

part 3 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is.Yeah. It gets annoying and boring to hear so much hate about your own state which is MOSTLY EVEN NOT TRUE. We should get what we deserve. Also we have a higher amount of well-known/famous people than all of you. We have the USA Ambassador to Burkina Faso and Benin, we have the guy who designed the MLB logo, we have Tom Cruise, we have Shaquille O' Neal, we were home to FUCKING THOMAS EDISON (hence the city, Edison), we have Richard Nixon, Queen Latifah, Paul Rudd, Grover Cleveland, Frank Sinatra, Martha Stewart, Brittany Murphy, Zach Braff, Thomas Mitchell, Michelle Rodriguez, Ray Liotta, John Amos, Dennis Boutsikaris, Benjamin Burnley, Lou Costello, Buzz Aldrin, Sean Baker, Judy Blume, MERYL FUCKING STREEP, Bruce Springsteen, Whitney Houston, Bud Abbott, Charles Addams, Madeleine Brewer, Emma Jean Bell, Kevin Spacey, Victor Cruz, Patrick Warburton, Michael Douglass, Loretta Swit, Jon Bon Jovi, Bruce Willis, Kiersten Dunst, Count Basie, Flamingo (the child roblox youtuber), Cristin Milioti, Frankie Vallie, Conni Francis, Dionne Warwick, Ali Larter, Carli Lloyd, Halsey, Chris Carrino, Max Ehrich, ALBERT FUCKING EINSTEIN (one of the smartest and well/widely-known physicians or even people in the world), THE FUCKING JONAS BROTHERS, and a lot more which I can't say in this part because of the character limit go to my profile for part 4 i promise it's up these were all posted in the same 10 mins.

That marks the end of New Jersey - Part 3!

by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022

New Jersey - Part 4

Part 4 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. We left off with the Jonas Brothers in our list of amazing famous people from NJ. We continue withDavid Copperfield, Donald Fagen, Jesse Eisenberg, Jim Miller, Dennis Rodman, Antonin Scallia, Amy Locane, E.J. Barthel, Vini Lopez, Bill Moyers, Anthony Stolarz, Allen Ginsburg, Gaetano Bresci, Larry Doby, Malcolm Forbes, Bruce Vilanch, THE HAPPY FITS (my second-favorite band), Katherine Renee Shindle, Lauren Schmetterling, Julie Anne Robbenhymer, Jessie Paege, Mark Blum, Cissy Houston, Gary Lewis, THE LIST. GOES. FUCKING. ON. We know what REAL pizza is, what a REAL bagel is, what a REAL TOMATO is. No, California doesn't have good tomatoes. Californian tomatoes are FUCKING BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S TOMATOES ARE BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S BAGELS.. THEY'RE FUCKING BULLSHIT. YOUR PIZZA?! I'll spell it out. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Except for our next door neighbor New York, you have good pizza. We'll give you that. Go to my profile for part 5 i promise it's up these were all posted in the same like 10 mins.

That is the end of New Jersey - Part 4 lol bitches

by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022

New Jersey - Part 5

Here's Part 5 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. Go to my profile for previous. And you know what we made? CAMPBELLS'. FUCKING. SOUP. CAMPBELLS IS ARGUABLY THE BEST SOUP COMPANY IN THE ENTIRE NATION AND YOU KNOW THAT. We also have Wawas but I'm not sure if they're actually FROM NJ they might be a Pennsylvania or Connecticut thing. I'll go look it up. Yeah they're from PA but still we have a lot of wawas while you californians don't. And yes, we're the most dense. We're also in the top half of populous states (I think). If you live here you can go out to New York with your friends for your occasional good time. (However, the traffic on the turnpike can get big. Also always remember to take the HOLLAND tunnel. Lincoln tunnel sucks and it's irrelevant.) Despite having to pay a ridiculous toll fee, it's worth it. We've got one of the most dense cities in the US (Jersey City). Go to my profile for the last part part 6 it's up because i posted them all in the same 10 mins (i wrote the entire essay at once but then realized i couldn't post it so broke it up into parts after)

that's the end of New Jersey - Part 5

by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022

New Jersey - Part 6

Last part, part 6 of how amazing NJ is which I can't put all in 1 part because of the character limit.I feel like you're about to say "Oh this guy talks so much about jersey" Yes. I talk about Jersey. I FUCKING LOVE JERSEY. IT'S MY STATE. Our state motto would be "Unwarranted Confidence, Unlimited Attitude." WE LOVE OUR STATE. WE ARE PROUD LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS AND WE WILL STAY LIKE THAT. Also yes we have very amazing school system, better than something like Alabama's or Idaho's, we keep our state not smelly (granted, part of the GS parkway can get smelly but that space takes up like 5% of the state, which is not much.) Also yes Toyota is pretty much the only car you see. We have a very high Asian Population (That includes countries that aren't china btw) and we probably have at least 90% of all the emo kids in the country.
I have a lot more to say about our amazing state but I'm getting tired of typing and I've spent like almost an hour on this shit, so bye bitches i might make a continuation with parts 7-12 sometime if I get really bored but don't expect me to.

That's the end of New Jersey - Part 6 (and the end of this huge ass thing)

by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022

Jersey Shore Rule

In reference to the rule the Jersey Shote cast came up with when Mike hit on a “tranny”

“If you have to ask, if there is even a question, assume it’s a guy”

“Damn that girl is hot I’m gonna go talk to her”

“I don’t know, I mean look at her hands and that Adam’s apple. Might be trans and if you’re into that go ahead but if not remember the Jersey Shore Rule”

by Jumbalaya Eater April 27, 2022

Jersey Dirty Devil

Similar to a pig on a spit roast, a person holds on to a spinning horizontal stick and a person standing behind them sticks their finger in the ass of the person while they spin. Optional oral sex if you are brave enough.

A: Asked what her favorite position was, and she said Jersey Dirty Devil!
B: Oh shit! I’ve been trying to get my girl to do it, we only do glory holes.

by They Sold Seeds May 1, 2022

Come now jersey cow

A very common saying that means to hurry along a beautiful woman. Preferably to a bedroom

Come now jersey cow, the man said to his intended lover.

by Wise Man of much Wisdom May 8, 2022