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Noah "PeePaw" Szymanski

Considered by some to be the greatest basketball player ever, PeePaw is known for longevity, playing across 4 decades. He averaged 18 PPG, on highly efficient shooting splits with a career .50 FG%, .37 3PT%, and .89 FT%. PeePaw entered the league in '76 quickly rising to be one of the leagues top forwards on both ends of the court, this peak was short-lived however as he led the league in turnovers in '81. The next year a bizarre trend emerged that was only later discovered by sportswriter Jon Bois in 2017. Rookie PG Fat Lever and PeePaw recorded the exact same stats over the course of the '82 season. This trend would continue all the way to Fat Lever's retirement in '95, including his injury in the '92 season where PeePaw sat out due to marital troubles. For the next four years PeePaw played limited minutes putting up career lows. However in 2000 when PeePaw started due to injury, he proceeded to have one of the greatest seasons ever at 43 years old. He averaged 26.8 PPG on 57.8% FG% and 40.6% 3PT% shooting, and 13.9 APG, winning the league's MVP and leading his team all the way to the finals. However, the most impressive stat from this season was PeePaw's 12 total dribbles, scoring purely off his silky jumper and masterful jab step + head fake bag. Much to the dismay of fans PeePaw announced his retirement in the post game 7 press conference saying that he couldn't continue on after the events of 9/11. This caused confusion at the time as nobody knew what 9/11 was.
Foolish Ragamuffin: "My glorious king Unc is the GOAT of basketball"
Wizened Elder: "Be quiet youngblood! Noah "PeePaw" Szymanski is the GOAT and it ain't even close. That brother blew up the defense like it was the North Tower"
by PeePaw_9/11_truther January 2, 2025
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Noah

A fucking loser with a fat chode... no one likes him at all and he is super fat
Noah is so fat
by Awilly91 December 13, 2019
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Noah

Jacob is such a Noah!
by xevox April 20, 2022
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Noah

Noah is a very sarcastic person. Usually blondish brownish hair. He is good looking and cute. He’s really a nice person but he doesn’t show it. He gets upset easily but doesn’t show when he’s sad
Person 1: Noah’s so cute

Person 2: I know I can’t believe I rejected him
by personinthisworldthing March 6, 2019
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Noah Gragson

Nascar Xfinity driver for JR motorsports driving the #9 Bass pro shops black riffle coffee Chevy, and #62 beard motorsports car in the nascar cup series for the Daytona 500 and the #16 Kaulig car for select races (he better win)
Lucky: Noah Gragson is the best driver ever
by LuckyNoko10 February 25, 2022
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noah

cool ass nigga dosnt do anything wrong got a huge dick les go
by opiumoopium2900 November 21, 2022
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Noah Diaz

A c00l curly head kid that is the the best at imsg games anjela: damn he beat me again I suck :(
by Noah is so cool November 15, 2018
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