Spontaneous Combustion

A totally real medical condition. This condition is found primarily in small children and the elderly.

When one spontaneously combusts, their overall body heat has to exceed 2341 degrees Fahrenheit.

Generally, it is very noticeable when someone combusts. Their hair is immediately singed off, leaving them with a brand new shiny bald head (good riddance, that umbrella cut was UGLY!), and they essentially, burst open. Their organs and guts splat all across the ground, but most of the time their insides were already turned to ash, so you don't have to see their disgusting insides.

It has also been totally medically proven that when one has a large ego, specifically 13-14 year old boys, they are more prone to combustion. In fact, their spontaneous combustion rate is 95% more than small children and the elderly.

Signs of combustion- Dizziness, nausea, inflated ego (for some), excessive masturbation, consumption of oil or white-out, and trying to become a spice king on TikTik, because we know that ain't gonna end well.

And remember--when you see a child about to combust, take it across the room until it is behind some sort of barrier. When an elderly person is about to combust, just run. And finally, when you see a teenage male about to combust, scream and run because you know that this is gonna be intense.
"Hey, bro! Did you see Landen Spontaneously Combust in the gym! It was crazy!"

"Yeah, isn't Spontaneous Combustion a real medical condition?"

"Yeah. I don't miss him, though."
by Xeni_isbetter November 30, 2023
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Spontaneous Combustion

When a male, typically going through adolescence, accidentally busts a nut for no reason.
Adam: Did you see what happened to Rick? We were in math and he accidentally cummed in his pants for no reason.
Dan: Shit bro, spontaneous combustion isn't it
by QueenOfRain April 16, 2019
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(SSSS) a serious disease characterized by unpredictable synchronized shitting of two or more people within 10 meters of each other and subsequent synchronized prayer for forgiveness.
"Can you imagine if today was Thursday instead of Tuesday?"
"Honestly, if it were thursday, we would all contract spontaneous synchronized shitting sarcoma and have to change our pants"
by chessmasterflex January 19, 2010
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Spontaneous Acquisition

To spontaneously aquire. To absorb, to go unseen possibly stealing, to obtain through unknown means, to gain for no reason, manifestation, poof its there.
She uses the art of Spontaneous Acquisition to gather all of the things she needs or I dont steal I spontaneously acquire things and stuff
by Das Lunatik August 24, 2022
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Whenever something randomly explodes because of a teamswitcher, buster the combuster, suicide ɓomɓer or a buster
by DOC. Chocc June 03, 2024
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Spontaneous Retard Disorder

Spontaneous Retard Disorder or SRD affects 1 in 3 people, most being white woman. When faced in situations where they are in the wrong ,SRD symptoms have a 95% percent chance arising. The symptoms are equivalent to a 3 year old baby having tantrum. The symptoms include Intense swearing, physical violence , emotional turmoil and in some severe cases psychosis. There is no known cure to SRD. Therapy is the only known way to lessen the effects. If you know someone with SRD try to communicate in a way which doesn't arise affects and helps them calm down. It currently affects roughly 125 million people.
Jessica started screaming and crying. When I went to try and calm her down she started attacking me for no reason calling all sorts of foul things. I didn't realize she had Spontaneous Retard Disorder and since forgiven her.
by Kakwkwk April 22, 2022
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