Matty Platty

A semi-aquatic cold blooded mammal found in cold bodies of water for extended periods of time. Often referred to as “King of the Commons”.

Hey look it’s Matty Platty, king of the commons!

by anonymous10111213 July 7, 2022

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Splatty Matty

Splatty Matty is an entity and a force of nature that everyone fears. It strikes fear into the hearts of all mortal men/women. Hanging out behind the dumpsters of almost any liquor or beer store it can find he tries to entice minors into doing sexual favours for the purchase of alcohol. No sexual act is too disgusting or depraved for Splatty Matty. Even incest with his own mother. There have been many imitation Splatty Mattys but the true Splatty Matty can not be replaced. If you encounter Splatty Matty there is nothing you can do but give up all hope. He will terrorize you even in your dreams. Which he quickly turns to nightmares with his callous disregard for sexual harassment, his disgusting sexual advancements, his lack of discrimination on his targets, and the fact that he talks in the third person. You can try running but the Splatty Matty always gets what he wants.....

Emerges from behind dumpster-“Hey there kids! You lookin to get some wobbly pops?!? Well Splatty Matty would love to help you get that sweet liquid courage nectar for ya..... but first you have to swallow all of Splatty Mattys sweet sweet nectar uhhh yeahhh huhuhuh......”

by Booridley March 10, 2020

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