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Corporate Dirtbag 

A 9-5 office employee that’s a heavy weed smoker and can still deliver their projects on time. They can go out on the weekdays and will function pretty well at work the next day.
They’ll do shit like work from home but really they’re just checking outlook and teams while on the road somewhere. Or they might be gaming and occasionally asking their boss a random question. Pretty fun person to work with though.
I’m not sure why I tried so hard in college. The people that didn’t try as hard ended up in the same place as I am. It’s my turn to chill. I’m in my corporate dirtbag era.
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The dirty javier dirtbag 

When you take a little kid by the name of javier and first give him a swirly while punching him in the balls, then find one hundred horse shits and make him bathe in it will having butt sex with a baboon.
You see that young lad over there, we should do "the dirty javier dirtbag" on that fucker.