celebritory wank

A wank performed usually after a rough week of finals, as means of relaxation.

After his math and economics finals, he stripped down to his tighty whities, broke out the beer, playboys, porn and lube and settled in for a long, enjoyable evening. A celebritory wank

by sarahYBABY! December 23, 2008

Thinky wank

where you don't use porn to wank

Me: "i'm going for a Thinky Wank"
Friend:"who you going to think about?"
Me: "your mum"

by buttonsex February 28, 2012

Wailing Wanks

Also known as Frightened Masturbation or The Screaming Skeets. It happens while on 24 hour acid trip, when one starts to jerk off and sees a extremely scary hallucination and subsequently starts scream while still jerkin it.

Kyle was so f-up I could hear him suffering through the wailing wanks in the room next door.

by w@mMy s@ndw1cH?!1! May 24, 2006

Tongue Wank

A taste sensation. When you eat food that's taste so good it's like having an orgasm in your mouth!

'The food at Manchetester House was amazing. It was like having a tongue wank!

by Dirty JD September 18, 2016

Platinum Wank

When a "posh wank" is insufficient.
involves the use of a condom AND lubricant.

Maybe even a pre shower, shave and shite etc...
you get the idea.

T: "hey Dave, did u pull your head off last night with that porn we traded....?"

D: "hell ye, but I had to go platinum. a poshy just wouldn't do!"

T: "A platinum wank eh? I like ur style! bit expensive tho"

by h2ous June 16, 2009

wank momma

A woman who is not gettin any action, the opposite of a mack momma.

Damn Kellie, u thinkin about Ralph all the time has turned you into a wank momma.

by darcmatter May 11, 2006

Wank Chariot

Military slang for a single bed. Named such because they are only good for sleeping and masturbating feverishly in.

"can I come to yours tonight baby?"
"Fuck that, bitch, it's called a wank chariot for a reason"

by VuWblk April 22, 2015