Essex wank

Sitting at the toilet and having a shit, then in the same toilet sesh you have a wank

Dirty cunts been on the toilet for ages, bet he's having an Essex wank

by kirn October 22, 2017

Bridge Wank

The act of holding yourself up by one hand (e.g. On your bed) and holding your other side up with your feet (e.g. On a table or windowsill) and wanking. The increased blood flowing to the penis makes you more erect.

"Dude I just caught my son bridge wanking in his room."

by Harambeisinourhearts August 24, 2017

choke wank

Wanking while choking yourself, being choked by someone else while you wank or being choked by someone else while they wank you

Im going to have the best choke wank tonight

by shukkka November 17, 2016

eppileptic wank

When you cause someone who is epileptic to have a seizure while they are holding their penis, causing them to have a seizure and tuss off at the same time

Riley ended up having an eppileptic wank when Harvey shone a torch into his eyes.

by Seabridge Memester April 18, 2016

Hate wank

To punish one’s self for poor performance you masturbate using deep heat as lube.

Johnny lost another client today, he went home to punish himself with a hate wank.

by This_guy0885 November 02, 2023

spite wank

When you get called a simp and are told not to jack it so you wank it in {spite} of the person.

She called me a simp so I pulled a spite wank later that night.

by Alb3rt5 May 27, 2020

Wank of Shame

When your phone dies whilst masturbating.

My phone died mid-jack so I had to perform the Wank of Shame.

by OTG Lmao February 06, 2021