The Chav (or Lamo Inferior) is a sub species of baboon which has somehow learned to do a feeble imitation of the English language and live among the British as parasites.
The origins of the word chav are unclear. Opinion is divided as to whether the word is a corruption of the Romany word "chavi", (roughly translating as "child") or an abbreviation of the word "Chatham," a town, like many in southeast England, with an inordinately high proportion of these creatures.
The chavs themselves are thought by many to be the result of some sort of bio-terrorism or the accidental release of biohazardous materials from a research facility located near a McDonalds "restaurant."
The females (or "chavettes") can be identified by absurdly large hoop earrings and incredibly tight scraped-back ponytail hairstyle. The male is the same size as the female but tends to wear tracksuits with hood up in all weathers or pink/powder blue/hooped polo shirts with collars turned up.
Renowned for cowardice, aggression, and a tendency to breed like the head lice they keep as pets (along with Staffordshire bull terriers.)
The mating habits of the Chav revolve around the males driving around urban areas in small, cheap cars filled with sub-woofers blaring out repetitive random noise and hooting sounds. This mating call can be heard for many kilometres. The unfeasably large hoop earrings on the females vibrate and jangle in response to this noise, letting them know that a potential mate is somewhere in the vicinity.
The chav is a highly territorial beast. Like most lower primates, getting too close or making eye contact is hazardous and often results in them attacking you. Although they are physically weak, they always attack en masse often using some form of crude tool for bludgeoning or cutting. In smaller groups they are only likely to attack if they sense fear/weakness or if you turn your back on them. They tend to congregate in huge groups, very much like the Gelada baboon, their closest relative. This phenomenon is most commonly seen in shopping malls, fast food restaurants, city/town centres, Spanish/Mediterranean budget holiday destinations and cheaper forms of public transport.
For some reason, chavs are a protected species in the UK and are never culled and only rarely incarcerated by the authorities. Fortunately, there are many citizens action groups trying to rectify this situation.
The only people known to like chavs are misguided knee-jerk liberals with a below average grade in social studies who have probably not yet had any family members or friends killed/raped/mugged by this brand of infectious, sub-human waste. It is possible that the chav lover misconstrues the hatred of chavs as a class issue. This is a misconception on their part, as many chavs are in fact semi-retarded, middle-class teenagers who have decided to live as baboons since they cannot function in true human society.
The origins of the word chav are unclear. Opinion is divided as to whether the word is a corruption of the Romany word "chavi", (roughly translating as "child") or an abbreviation of the word "Chatham," a town, like many in southeast England, with an inordinately high proportion of these creatures.
The chavs themselves are thought by many to be the result of some sort of bio-terrorism or the accidental release of biohazardous materials from a research facility located near a McDonalds "restaurant."
The females (or "chavettes") can be identified by absurdly large hoop earrings and incredibly tight scraped-back ponytail hairstyle. The male is the same size as the female but tends to wear tracksuits with hood up in all weathers or pink/powder blue/hooped polo shirts with collars turned up.
Renowned for cowardice, aggression, and a tendency to breed like the head lice they keep as pets (along with Staffordshire bull terriers.)
The mating habits of the Chav revolve around the males driving around urban areas in small, cheap cars filled with sub-woofers blaring out repetitive random noise and hooting sounds. This mating call can be heard for many kilometres. The unfeasably large hoop earrings on the females vibrate and jangle in response to this noise, letting them know that a potential mate is somewhere in the vicinity.
The chav is a highly territorial beast. Like most lower primates, getting too close or making eye contact is hazardous and often results in them attacking you. Although they are physically weak, they always attack en masse often using some form of crude tool for bludgeoning or cutting. In smaller groups they are only likely to attack if they sense fear/weakness or if you turn your back on them. They tend to congregate in huge groups, very much like the Gelada baboon, their closest relative. This phenomenon is most commonly seen in shopping malls, fast food restaurants, city/town centres, Spanish/Mediterranean budget holiday destinations and cheaper forms of public transport.
For some reason, chavs are a protected species in the UK and are never culled and only rarely incarcerated by the authorities. Fortunately, there are many citizens action groups trying to rectify this situation.
The only people known to like chavs are misguided knee-jerk liberals with a below average grade in social studies who have probably not yet had any family members or friends killed/raped/mugged by this brand of infectious, sub-human waste. It is possible that the chav lover misconstrues the hatred of chavs as a class issue. This is a misconception on their part, as many chavs are in fact semi-retarded, middle-class teenagers who have decided to live as baboons since they cannot function in true human society.
"The social security office is crawling with chavs."
"Father of three beaten to death by a group of chavs in an unprovoked assault. This is the third such incident this week."
"The average IQ of a chav is well below the human average."
"Father of three beaten to death by a group of chavs in an unprovoked assault. This is the third such incident this week."
"The average IQ of a chav is well below the human average."
by LaughingMan August 27, 2007
Get the chav mug.a twat. usually tries to act like thay are black when they are clearly white. can be found outside or inside mcdonalds or near a JD sports. usually wear baggy tracksuits that hang round their arses which make them look like they shat themsleves. listen to shiity chart hiphop e.g 50 cent, sean kingston, rhianna and all that other shit. sometimes hang around camden just to shout abuse at the passing by emo poofs and faggoths. talk about big brother and im a celebrity... have no sense of taste or originality and usually follow what is popular. also they talk like knobs.
chavvy white boy:yo G. wats gwan'in. u is lookin buff in ur battyriders innit. wanna cum down 2 mcdonalds and set my sum head. dont be scared by my small penis and 1 blond pube doe. bruv!
slaggy chav girl:yh bruv. ill link u buh i wanna meet up wid ma chixx.
slaggy chav girl:yh bruv. ill link u buh i wanna meet up wid ma chixx.
by psycho from hell February 1, 2008
Get the chav mug.cancer of the world,
they have there own little culture,
you cannot find a worse type of person
no one likes a chav. SEE TOWNIES, TOWNIE OR NED
they have there own little culture,
you cannot find a worse type of person
no one likes a chav. SEE TOWNIES, TOWNIE OR NED
by terry October 23, 2003
Get the chav mug.chav (noun)- 1 Anyone wearing any kind of burberry clothing 2 A youth usually, although not neccessarily in his or her teens who has an undying belief that they are the hardest and coolest individual to have ever walked this planet. The male chav is distinguishable by his birght colours and imitaion gold jewellry which he uses to attract chavettes (see next). Any eye contact will be met with a tirade of abuse assuming the chav is with his herd. 3 Chavette A female chav who is distinguishable by the use of earings resting on her shoulders, very innapropriate clothing, and a pram. Chavettes are very rarely seen on their own and prefer to hang around with the dominant chav in their herd, usually the father of their child. 4 Chavish the dialect of the chav. Believing that he is a bad boy gangsta rapper, the chav or chavette will converse with others in a secrect language. Scientists have been working for years on trying to decipher chavish but to no avail. Other than swear words that you will manage to pick out, you will not understand any of this tirade; simply assume its not pleasant and probably involves your parents and a dog. (see example)
ere dean wats that nigga lookin at-ee is ganna get a beatin-dere be blood on da floor man. oi faggot you startin or wha? yo mumma got banged up by ma dog hoe.
by Mike January 23, 2004
Get the chav mug.Of all the sperm cells that reache the egg, those destined to be a "Chav" deny those with a more privalidged potential future the right to live. After they reach the egg, their usefulness is spent. They will then spend the rest of their illustriest lives roaming in gangs of Burbery clad gangs, vandalising stuff, hurling abuse at random people and sponging off the tax payers money.
They hate all upstanding or better off citizens, and want everyone else to descend to their rabid level of intelligence, because then at least they won't feel so bad about being an inferior bottom feeder of society.
They hate all upstanding or better off citizens, and want everyone else to descend to their rabid level of intelligence, because then at least they won't feel so bad about being an inferior bottom feeder of society.
by Darkverge September 20, 2007
Get the chav mug.look outside a corner shop or takeaway or whatever at about 11pm at night and you will see chavs, usually in groups between about 5 and 20.
boys wear some kind of hardnut tracksuit, with nike,adidas,scholl,bear,timberland accross it, and have a nike/burbery cap about 90 degrees to their head.
the girls have peroxide blondre hair pulled back so tight their forehead doesnt move, make up put on witha shovel, a trackie with priness or babe or something on the back of it, a fag in one hand and a mobile in the other. oh and both boys and girls wear about 2 tonnes of argos jewellery each.
boys wear some kind of hardnut tracksuit, with nike,adidas,scholl,bear,timberland accross it, and have a nike/burbery cap about 90 degrees to their head.
the girls have peroxide blondre hair pulled back so tight their forehead doesnt move, make up put on witha shovel, a trackie with priness or babe or something on the back of it, a fag in one hand and a mobile in the other. oh and both boys and girls wear about 2 tonnes of argos jewellery each.
they normally say things like-
"oi, you startin"
"youre gonna get banged out you little c**t"
"get us some fags"
"its orrigh't innit"
"oi, you startin"
"youre gonna get banged out you little c**t"
"get us some fags"
"its orrigh't innit"
by fizzy777 May 15, 2005
Get the chav mug.A byword for someone who has a taste for a certain types of sports brand casual clothes such as nike, adidas, etc wear baseball caps, hoodies, tracksuit bottoms and tuck their trousers into their socks.
Stereotypically, they exhibit agressive behavior, drink white lightning, are oversexed, living in relative poverty in menial jobs and being a general nusance. However, this is a common misconception as you don't have to be working class or from a working class background to be a stereotype chav by a long stretch. You don't even have to throw burberry over yourself anymore either, just act like a moron and an obnoxious pain in the hole and that'll probably be enough (even if you still have to wait for your mum to pick you up).
Many pretentious, social commenting boregois Cretins who follow this stereotype love to wail at how "it reflects middle class snobbery".
Unfortuntately, these self-appointed commentators are hypocritically following exactly the same chav stereotype to the letter and are so short sighted, they fail to see what hypocritical, ignorant, talentless cunts they really are.
Stereotypically, they exhibit agressive behavior, drink white lightning, are oversexed, living in relative poverty in menial jobs and being a general nusance. However, this is a common misconception as you don't have to be working class or from a working class background to be a stereotype chav by a long stretch. You don't even have to throw burberry over yourself anymore either, just act like a moron and an obnoxious pain in the hole and that'll probably be enough (even if you still have to wait for your mum to pick you up).
Many pretentious, social commenting boregois Cretins who follow this stereotype love to wail at how "it reflects middle class snobbery".
Unfortuntately, these self-appointed commentators are hypocritically following exactly the same chav stereotype to the letter and are so short sighted, they fail to see what hypocritical, ignorant, talentless cunts they really are.
"You chav bastard! Go back to your white lightning outside Maccy D's!"
"But your such a snob you need to demonise the working class! You deserve any misery chavs throw at you!"
"Hello moron? You believe like said previous cretin that all working class follow the same pattern of mindless drunken talentless thuggery! What makes you different?"
..."I read the Times as well as the Daily Express..."
"But your such a snob you need to demonise the working class! You deserve any misery chavs throw at you!"
"Hello moron? You believe like said previous cretin that all working class follow the same pattern of mindless drunken talentless thuggery! What makes you different?"
..."I read the Times as well as the Daily Express..."
by blahblah119 March 28, 2009
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