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internet conquistador

Someone who tries to be the first person in their social circle to discover and share links, images, articles, etc. from the web, in an attempt to look knowledgeable or cutting-edge.
Steve think he's such an internet conquistador for posting that link to a knitted Darth Vader cat costume on Facebook, but I totally saw it in my Craftzine.com RSS feed last week.
by Adrohn February 28, 2012
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internet me

When someone's cellphone is broken and therefore needs to be contacted through the internet.
Facebook status update: phone is broken. internet me.
by Draco723 April 14, 2012
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internet stoned

When you've used the Internet so long, you're beginning to appear to be stoned. Similar to internet coma, except not nearly as serious and you don't need permanent termination of Internet usage, just a quick nap and you'll be fine for the next slug. Notice symptoms:

-Slack-jaw-ness.
-Inability to concentrate.
-Ruined memory.
-Insanity (oh wait we all have that).
Random d00d #1: Did you hear about Derek the other night? Man, was he Internet Stoned!
Random d00d #2: Wha happen?
Random d00d #1: Oh wait you're Derek #&*($&$*(#$&(FUCK

Jenny: Dude, you're totally Internet stoned.
Derek: Huhr?
Jenny: It's like an internet coma except you're only a quarter dead, not all dead.
Derek: Thash nice. Remind me to go to Jenny's house when I wake up. crashes
Jenny: *looks at watch* Great. That's the last blind date I'll ever have.
by Thatguywith2020vision June 23, 2011
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internet depression

When you feel depressed over something that happens on the Internet, such as all your friends being banned from your favorite forum because you happened to share the same e-mail account or when you and your RP accounts get banned from Skype.
A: Did you hear about Kyle? Boy, did he suffer from internet depression.
B: What happened?
A: He got banned from Skype for RPing. Apparently, because he was RPing, people thought he was schizo since they actually thought he believed he was his own fictional characters.
B: Sweet baby Jesus. That's the worst thing that could happen to somebody.
A: I know, right?
by Thatguywith2020vision June 28, 2011
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Internet Tourettes

A person with Internet Tourettes is characterized by an uncontrollable urge to blurt out random messages in the form of a comment, an image, a gif, or a video.
Whether or not these messages are appropriate in any sort of context is up to said person.

Generally, this term can be applied to a wide array of people, but in most cases, it can be boiled down to two distinct types:
1. A shitposter who replies in an exaggerated way to a post for the sake of comedy.
2. A crazy person who immediately derails an otherwise normal conversation with utter nonsense for no (obvious) reason.
1. "We can't ever have a normal group chat, because every time Tom posts anything serious, George comes in with his Internet Tourettes and spams shitposts that have no relation to the conversation."

2. "Whenever I post a cute cat picture on Facebook, my friend with Internet Tourettes just HAS to chime in with conspiracy theories about the moon landing."
by Tip Tip The Bird October 29, 2023
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On Internet Explorer

Looking at picture on the internet they deem too pixelated, but most of the times the picture is only blurry due to greasy fingers on their glasses.
Only used by neckbeards who are trying to sound cool while supressing the thoughts of their own viginity and mortality. Because they don't realize
Lil bro is on internet explorer.
or the beta/virgin version
Good caption internet explorer.
by Linguistic God of Poos July 27, 2023
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internet thug

internet thug- a person who
fronts , talks, argue, talk out they neck on the INTERNET . but not even trynna fight if someone or i drop lo or tell them to slide to a public place . they say they gone show up but really don’t . and if they do it’s with a group of people . psa- don’t argue with me if uu not trynna bug with me espically if uu need ur friends .
durk once said - “they be talkin frm the internet , they don’t be outside , internet thugs
by fáyee November 11, 2020
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