Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace

The start of the second verse of "At A Medium Pace" by Adam Sandler

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace
Play with my balls and tell me how big they are
Honey rub your beaver up and down my face
Sit on the corner of the bed and watch me whack off

You see that shampoo bottle
Now stick it up my ass
Push it in and out at a medium pace
Talk about your old boyfriend's dick and how big it was
Now shave off my pubs and punch me in the face

Oh darling, make me push my dick and balls
Back between my legs
Call me an ugly woman and take my picture
To show all the people you work with

Now pull up my scrotum
And take that shampoo bottle out of my ass
Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy
And watch me whack off
Strap on a dildo and make me give you head
Tell me slow down and do it at a medium pace

Oh, I feel so humiliated
I'm about to blow my load
You tell it's time to make love
But now I can't 'cause I spewed all over myself
Then you look into my eyes, then you realize
How much I enjoy loving you
I'm so sorry I spunked on my stomach
Maybe next time I'll be better at loving you

by Wicked Uncle Ernie November 15, 2022

October 27: Drop all your toxic friends day

Drop all the toxic people in your life and call them out for it

October 27: Drop all your toxic friends day

by No one27273737 October 27, 2020

DONT YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR THIRTY-DOLLAR HAIRCUT

A copypasta from an anime that is usually found on discord followed by several of the same emojis.

'DONT YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR THIRTY-DOLLAR HAIRCUT 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿'

by i just morbed June 4, 2022

You can't have your cake and eat it too

An expression basically meaning that you can only have it so good, and you can't have it all.

An good example is if a situation is bittersweet.

Sara was sad that the guy whom had gotten very close to her in the past 3 years which she held a secret fondness for developed an interest in her best friend, Clare. In conversation with Clare, Sara explained the situation, to which Clare responded.

"You can't have your cake and eat it too."

by ThatOneHuman December 28, 2005

you fucking nigger I will fuck your gay dad

This terms usually used by spoiled 7 year old kids when they get killed in Fortnite.

Timmy said, "you fucking nigger I will fuck your gay dad" when he got 2nd place in Fortnite.

by Memetric December 29, 2018

You can lay your legs on me if you want to

Arguably the best, smoothest pick up line known to mankind.

Usually said by a male who is in close proximity to a female, such as two people sitting next to each other on a couch.

An attempt to escalate the level of physicality of a relationship, ideally leading to sex. Often muttered in an incoherent Boston accent.

Male sitting next to a female: "You can lay your legs on me if you want to."

Female: "No thanks."

Male: "Awwp, you don't like me like that? Awwp! Pffh! Awwp!

by CaptainMooseknuckle May 7, 2019

All the definitions on Urban Dictionary were written by people just like you. Now's your chance to add your own!

Wow, you really must be bored, so you typed the message that comes up when you put a new word into Urban Dictionary. Clever idea.

All the definitions on Urban Dictionary were written by people just like you. Now's your chance to add your own!
Write for a large audience. Lots of people will read this, so give some background information.
Don't name your friends. We'll reject inside jokes and definitions naming non-celebrities.
In the boxes below, link to other words with square brackets. For example, booty will become booty.

by Minecraft1238 January 22, 2019