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Grinder

Noun: Believed to be an otherworldly being or entity by some, and by others to be an incomprehensible force who's nature knows no true form. If I may summon the words of 17th century philosopher, Sir David Tompkins, who's brief definition effectively summarizes this abstract concept: "The Grinder is everything that is." Whatever the case, one thing is for certain: the Grinder and its existence will never be fully understood by mere mortals such as ourselves.

However, much less mystery surrounds the purpose of the Grinder. It is widely accepted that the Grinder's sole function is to select the victims for and to determine the exact date of future Grindings. The Grinder works in mysterious ways, but a Grinding is often awarded to the perpetrator of some evil deed.

The actual act of grinding is performed with ritualistic precision with both efficiency and speed. Henchmen of the grinder must quickly surround he who is to be Grinded and strike him in any manner in the upper body for approximately 20 seconds (headshots are not allowed and may get you Grinded). The Grindee is then released from the Grinder and the act is considered sufficient reparation for the wrongdoing in question.
Travis: Hey, guys! I accidentally kicked the hack into the bush!
David: The Grinder has spoken. To the grinder with him!
(group advances on Travis and consumes him)
Travis: no! noooooooooooooo!
by skeet skeet pete August 7, 2008
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Pennsylvania Meat Grinder

When you take an unexpected shit in your partner's mouth, and before they can spit it out you wrap duct tape around their mouth with little holes in it, so when they do spit it out, it comes out like play-doh. Then you fuck them using the shit patties as a lubricant.
Oh baby, it's been a while since we did the Pennsylvania Meat Grinder.
by Jiggledoes-R-Us March 11, 2010
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Cattle grinder

A party or gathering, so packed with people that if a riot was to start, the resulting chaos would end up mashing EVERYBODY into a pulp.
Yo, i went to a sick as party last night, it was a feckin cattle grinder tho!
by Bernard p January 2, 2009
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Dick grinder

When your geting a blow job and the girl bites your dick
Last nite my girl was made and gave me a dick grinder
by Markusb August 17, 2015
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hartford grinder

Originally inspired by the name of a sandwich, a Hartford Grinder is pretty much anything dirty you can imagine
"He gave her the ol' hartford grinder".
"She looks like she's been through the hartford grinder a few times."
"I'm gonna do a few hartford grinders on myself before that date."
by kill9 May 13, 2016
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Bench grinder

When you prone bone a CrossFit girl on the bench press.
She got her chalk on my cock during a CrossFit handjob, so I showed her the Bench Grinder and put her on the bench face down rubbing her nipples raw.
by SkiBumFun August 16, 2019
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Gear Grinder

A redneck who's greatest aspiration in life is to dig to china by doing a burnout in his yard. Gear grinders can often be found drinking Red Bull, slamming beers, and listening to David Allen Coe. Gear grinders worship engine noise and often have so much horsepower they leave half their tires on the road. Gear grinders love trucks, big tires, and unnecessarily high suspension. A gear grinder is at home in the mud but will cause as much trouble on the road as they will off it.

A truck driver that wins the lottery will inevitably quit his job to become a full time gear grinder.

Gear grinders speak an unintelligible mix of drunk redneck and gibberish.

Gear grinders are often found in the Deep South especially Texas, Alabama, and North Carolina. Gear grinders rarely venture north where they will be criticized for flying confederate flags but they have been spotted as far north as the farming areas of Maryland.
*At the local gas station
Gear Grinder - "grab me up packa smokes a cuppla buds and some shells for ma 12 gauge"
Gas station employee - "Can I see your ID?"
Gear Grinder - "I musta left da-gon thang in ma truck"
Gas station employee - "that'll be $22.50"
by Porsche_911s November 2, 2020
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