The Theoretical idea that a noose, being a loop at the end of a rope that tightens when a load is applied, cannot and will not kill thyself, if chosen to have the inability to.
by 24moorej January 2, 2025
Get the Noose Theorymug. An analytical framework first proposed by Sir Mix-a-lot postulating that all social institutions, laws, and mores are rooted in a reverence for booty.
Democrats and Republicans came together to recognize the importance of Critical Booty Theory as a framework for legislative decision making and adjudication in the legal system.
by Quan Master Quan July 12, 2021
Get the Critical Booty Theorymug. I witnessed dipshit theory in action last night at the soc hop wendy.
Youre just jealous!
I saw you looking at him!
Oh, greg...you are despicable!
Youre just jealous!
I saw you looking at him!
Oh, greg...you are despicable!
by ESPeciallyscientific April 18, 2018
Get the Dipshit Theorymug. The pseudoscientific belief that every catastrophic fuck-up in a man’s life can be traced back to one single, glorious nut he should’ve never busted.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.
Example:
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”
by MinotDUIDrifter October 30, 2025
Get the Nutsakeum Theorymug. If one person in a relationship really likes bread and the other dosen't, it's a really good sign the relationship will go places. If both parties like bread or dislike bread there is a great possibility it won't go as well.
Meghan: I love bread
Shawn: I hate bread
Tomás: due to the Bread theory they are perfect for eachother
Shawn: I hate bread
Tomás: due to the Bread theory they are perfect for eachother
by Nicheis October 16, 2023
Get the Bread Theorymug. The Hasson theory is most commonly used to describe those that are blessed with a nice arse but have a face that could turn Medusa to stone, so if you see a girl with these attributes it is known as the Hasson theory. Spread the word booty face bum nose noon spoon
A man sees a nice girls ass and he is like danggg and then he looks at the face and he knows to think of the Hasson theory and be like that girls got a nice ass but not a nice face
by Steve? June 5, 2016
Get the Hasson theorymug. A belief that a strange event or circumstance is caused by normal means and shouldnt be looked into any further even in the face of mounting evidence suggesting otherwise.
by b4zzo July 9, 2021
Get the Suspiracy Theorymug.