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Turtle of Life

The Story of The Turtle of Life:
The Turtle of Life has never been born unto a family of glory and righteousness.

Thus he gave unto himself a gift. This gift was the Pride of the Lions, and what caused the Sadness of the Ravens and the Murder of the Crows. The Murder brought about a new era and the skies were clear for all other birds feared this new gift, especially the seagulls. When the seagulls, learned of their fate and that they had been exiled from the skies they decided to become creatures of earth and thus, transformed into moles. The moles were not pleased by the overcrowding of the earth and thus wished to be Crows. Now moles, living under a rock, didn’t know about the Murder of the Crows, and so they were killed, swiftly and brutally. The Seagulls then realized that turtles’ bellies were weak and they held their bellies up to the warm earth. So the Moles attempted siege of the shelled creatures. The Turtles then pinned the blame on the Turtle of Life who was never there, and they were killed. The Turtle of Life did not come back to save them for he was never there… or was he.
by FSMFan June 12, 2009
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turtle-javier

turtle-javier has crabs
by alissaaaaaa July 12, 2009
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turtle fairy

They guy you get your turtle from.. If you dont know what turtle is look it up!!
Friend: hey can u get any turtle?
Me: Yah i just gotta stop and see the turtle fairy.
by sugaababy February 4, 2010
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Turtle Ring

Turtle ring, what happens to an engagment ring after a husband to be is caught cheating.
by Joeballs July 5, 2010
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Turtle-fern

an individual that reminds you of a turtle. This individual eats like a turtle, pointing their lips out while taking small little bites. Their diet consists of mostly salads.
Marcus McKinney is a Turtle-fern.
by Chippity Chop December 28, 2010
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Turtle Day

n. - A day to yourself where you stay in your metaphorical "shell" and do only what you want to do.

Typically, a person will stay in bed with a laptop and/or pen and paper. Maybe under blankets (like the turtle's shell)
Today, I didn't want to go to class or work, so I took a Turtle Day as my roommate brought me food in bed and I doodled all day. It was well deserved and rephreshing

I heard you're stressed out, why not take a Turtle Day? It can help you wind out!
by Saile February 26, 2011
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Turtle Shuffle

When you have a shit trying to poke out of your anus and you are trying to shuffle slowly to the crapper before it comes completely out.
Dude I had to crap so bad I was doing the turtle shuffle to the bathroom.
by Maple Backwoods September 14, 2011
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