Jesus Velocity

When a massive or difficult project is finished in a relatively short amount of time.
Luke McKinny, cracked.com Over three days, I saw a Beijing street torn up, disemboweled and resurfaced. The roadway was made whole at Jesus velocity
by Krashlia July 02, 2012
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Jesus on a stick

a weird food they sell at the Korean Presbyterian church down the street
Dude have you had the Jesus on a stick?
yeah man it tastes pretty good
by theczechspam March 07, 2018
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Gabriel Jesus

The best average player to grace a football pitch. HIs touch on the ball is mediocre but he can still steal the ball...and your girlfriend. FUCK YOU HES THE BEST
Ugly girl: WHo even is Gabriel Jesus?
Hot Girl: THE BEST PLAYER IN THE FUCCKING WORLD
by Lightskin Lovely April 05, 2022
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Apple Jesus

When your iphone or MacBook dies, they go up in the Cloud to Apple Jesus.

When an Apple product is sick and you need just long enough to let your contract run out or get them backed up, you pray that they don't go see Apple Jesus yet.

Apple Jesus lives where the Cloud is.
I still owe $200 on my iphone 6, so it can't go see Apple Jesus yet!

I lost my iphone today. I am praying to Apple Jesus that my photos I took last night are really up in the cloud.
by Ms Busta Rhyme June 16, 2017
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Sleazy Jesus

An deliciously strong alcoholic beverage meant to be chugged.

It consists of half Natural Light and half Sangria, and is finished off with a shot of vodka. After mixing the ingredients in a red solo cup, the drink is meant to be consumed extremely fast for the best end result. Sangria is used to represent the blood of jesus and the beer/vodka to make you sleazy.

The drink received its name from the sleazy jesus scene in the recent musical "Reefer Madness."
Holy Jeez, that Sleazy Jesus was damn good.

Another round!
by Otard July 11, 2008
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jesus wheeling

the act of hydroplaning, or driving on water and losing complete grip of the road.
this act is usualy carried out by land pirates

"man it was raining so hard last night we were jesus wheeling on the highway"
by Farlan Beck January 13, 2008
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Jesus Cup

In Beer Pong, the cup whom seems to float around the table endlessly without any force being pushed upon it. Naturally caused by excess beer and/or water spilled on the beer pong table.
Dude fix that Jesus cup, it's floating right at me.
by brown dynamite May 10, 2011
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