soccer mom

Woman, normally 30-50, white, Always a Christian, kids are normally home-schooled due to secular filth telling them that you can be happy. If the kids go to public school they are beaten up regulary. Hates anything that can be violent, pornogreaphic, anti-jesus, or homosexual (a.k.a everything.) Enimies include The internets, Green Day, and any good form of Entertainment.

Me: *Listens to Green Day*

Soccer Mom: Why are you listening tho that unsaved trash, you are polluting my kids minds.

Me: Guess what I'm Gay! (always a good replent on these bitches)

*Soccer Mom flees*

Me: Stupid bloke.

by RandomInsanityIsAwesome November 20, 2006

Soccer Mom

Upper-middle class caucaisian north american women. They drive large gas guzzling SUVs and think that their kids are better than anything in the universe and won't make any mistake. ever.
they are the reason nobody can have fun anymore because of safety regulations and why everyone is super insecure. they are often passive agressive and have a hard time saying no or discipling their childeren this results in their children having no self esteem.

We MUST destroy all soccer moms

Sheryll is a soccer mom, look at her new Chevy Suburban and her kids Brenden and Preston.

by BoredWhiteGuy February 1, 2016

Soccer Mom

A suburban,(white, 95% of the time) middle-class mom who drives a mini-van and has usually 2-4 kids. She holds mostly conservative political views, and is unemployed. She spends her day watching daytime television, and/or grocery shopping for her family. She gets all her money from her husband. She usually is semi-religious and often shelters her children. Her other duties consist of dropping off and picking up her children from soccer practice, and other sports or activities. She also gets overly-involved in her children's school, being an active member of the PTA. She is exactly what makes suburban life so dull.

A woman who is way too overprotective and involved in her children's lives is a soccer mom.

by TomNook June 9, 2011

Soccer Mom

Usually a very over protective parent. You can see them at game stored freaking out about games like "Mortal Kombat" or "Call of duty" very annoying and is the whole reason why anmies like DBZ have been so butchered.

Soccer Mom: How can you sell this game with all the blood you are all makeing seriel killers here!

Me: Oh my god I just came in to buy Dead Island!

by Bob the funky human October 16, 2011

soccer mom

A progression from the shocker and surprise, but not quite the mini van. This consists of one up front with three little ones in the back.

After receiving the soccer mom, my girlfriend knew her destiny in life.

by spiralhelix June 21, 2011

soccer mom

A blonde middle-aged woman who's spent far too much time at the fake-n'-bake, barely stands five feet tall on her tiptoes, drives an SUV the size of a Sherman tank because she has a female Napoleon complex, and plasters the back of said vehicle with stickers about how her child is a straight A student at <insert here> middle school.

Most of the women driving SUV's around Richmond, VA.

by Syd Barrett December 23, 2003

soccer mom

Homemakers who have a whole shitload of kids because they don't know how to use birth control and instead of working, they spend their weeks and summers shuttling them around in their death trap SUV's to their various activities. They're usually extremely protective when it comes to their kids and try to protect them in every way possible.

I refuse to become a soccer mom. I'm having two kids, total and they'll have one activity each.

by Jennifer Strong September 4, 2008