cunt jerky

an old lady's cunt lips that are all dried out and hard.

I was looking for some easy poontang at the old folks home but all i found was cunt jerky

by Benny the Pig November 2, 2010

Shit Jerky

The process of putting your shit in a food dehydrator and making beef jerkey out of your shit.

"Wow Mike, i really want to buy some beef jerky but it costs $5.95 a bag so i will make shit jerky out of the beef jerky i ate last night".

by Koch Master June 20, 2009

beef jerky

A delicious dried, smokey beef snack. Quite possibly the manliest food known to man. Don't be fooled by those pussy beef stick imposters. You can see the "grain" of the beef in real jerky.

Frank: "Hey John, you want some of this beef jerky?"

John: "No thanks."

Frank: "Pussy."

by Guestly January 1, 2012

Sloppy Jerky

When you take a nice fat shit, then take the shit and place it into a meat dehydrator. After about 3 days of letting the shit dehydrate, you then insert it into a womans vagina, and proceed to fuck her in the ass while you fuck her pussy with the dehydrated shit. The shit will slowly fall apart and get restored with water, turning it back into shit inside of her pussy. Thus, her pussy can be described as a "sloppy jerky."

Guy #1: Yo I was totally raw dogging some chick last night, and stuck my fingers up her ass

Guy #2: You think that's cool? I totally sloppy jerkyed my girlfriend last night and made her reach her hand into her pussy and eat out the shit

Guy #1: Man, you are fucked up.

by sloppyjerky November 22, 2009

worm jerky

n. What you typically find on the driveway or sidewalk after a prolonged rainy period followed by sunshine - earthworms that washed up from the ground during the rain, only to stiffly dehydrate in the sun.

Ew, don't step on that worm jerky - I hate hearing it crunch underfoot.

by Shannon L-B April 14, 2008

beef jerky in a dress

a woman of a certain age who, while once attractive for her tanned complexion and lean figure, is now creepily thin and leathery

pool boy 1: hey, did you just finish servicing that beef jerky in a dress in cabana 7?

pool boy 2: yeah, that old beth tips well, but i'm gonna have that old-football taste in my mouth for hours

by i am not wearing pants July 15, 2009

bro jerky

A brother who needs to man up

You need to stop being soft and get out tonight, bro jerky

by Bro jerky December 20, 2014