I don't give two and a half shits

You really, REALLY don't care about what someone just told you.

Brody: Hey, I just found this really funny video I wanna show you, it's about this-

Ryan: I don't GIVE two and a half shits, alright?!

by MCGONN June 17, 2009

two jags

Heavyweight Deputy Prime Minister of the UK. Lard-arse with a penchant for Jaguars. As with most politicians, in disgrace. Famously beat up some animal rights hippy who threw an egg at him.

two jags became two jabs

by tosh mactavish III August 8, 2006

Two Toes Thompson

Used when referring to someone as great as the american hero two toes thompson.

Justin is so awesome, he's such a two toes thompson.

by David13 February 17, 2009

two-day-a-year-jew

A Jew, usually reformed but he or she can also be conservative if they go to a large enough temple, who only goes to temple for the two days of Rosh Hannah, though occasionally they may show up for Yom Kippur (although the fasting impairs socializing). They usually spend the most of their time socializing outside with their friends.

"I didn't even know Michael went to this temple!"
"Oh you didn't know? He's been a two-day-a-year-jew since his Bar Mitzvah."

by ShawnCP September 19, 2009

web two-dot-over

The popping of the Web 2.0 bubble and software company ideas not based on sound business fundamentals. Daniel Lyons of Newsweek fame penned this in his article "Down in the Valley" on Oct 11, 2008. "With so many Internet companies chasing so few dollars, the Web 2.0 (pronounced 'Web two-dot-oh') craze now may be moving into a new phase: Web two-dot-over."

Your new idea for a startup software company is so Web two-dot-over.

by Mark L Stevens September 23, 2009

jumped two levels and died

Used when a person has segued from one topic to another, seemingly unrelated topic, though a mental leap of which only that person is aware. A reference to the 1981 video game Donkey Kong, where Mario can only jump down to a platform that is one 'level' below him; if he falls too far, he dies.

A: Have you seen the new 370Z?
B: Yeah, I dunno, it looks a little edgy.
C: I learned it by watching you!
A: Wait, what?
B: Yeah, I think you just jumped two levels and died.

by Entroper October 23, 2009

two o'clock whore

A woman or girl who you would never dream of calling or contacting before two o'clock in the morning.

Alright, bar's closed so I'm going to the two o'clock whore's house to see if she is still awake.

by progressives October 24, 2009