whale reader

A reader who consumes annually more books than the rest of the population combined.

A voracious reader.

Jane: I read 600 books last year.
John: Wow, you're a whale reader.
Jane: Yes. Yes, I am.
John: Don't get cocky.

by Groatsworth June 21, 2019

butter reader

person, usually an old lady, who completely blocks the aisle in a grocery store with both their body and their cart while they stare at a product without moving for a very long time and get extremely offended if you say "excuse me" or any similar phrase to them. Bizarrely, more of them have come into existence since covid.

I wish that butter reader would move, I want to get some ice cream!

by TV's Katie January 22, 2021

Drew Read

Drew Read is a very sweet and wonderful guy. He's cute charming and an absolite fucking idiot. He lacks common sense and is very creepy. He stalks girls and follows them to their house. After they get inside he waits until night and sneaks into a tree. He takes out his binoculars and watches them shower. He particularly likes girls with red hair.

"I saw someone follow me home last night!"
"Oh, that was definetly Drew Read."

by DogPoopWeiner December 1, 2021

Half Read

When someone only read something halfway. It's especially annoying during texting, leading to much confusion and miscommunication. Those jaded by this resort to phone calls for all major planning. This may result in a conflict with introverts who hate phone calls, and usually will not answer the phone, preferring to respond with a text. Thus a viscous cycle is born.

Bro #1: "Bro, where are you at?"
Bro #2: "At home chillin. What's up?"
Bro #1: "You're supposed to be picking me up for the game!"
Bro #2: *rereads texts* Damn, my bad bruh. I only half read."

by Yeti remains March 10, 2022

Jumble Reading

Reading the words of a sentence out of order

The dog jumped over the fox
Would be read as
Over dog fox the jumped the

Mark is jumble reading so it will take him a while to finish the chapter

by Philharmonic April 23, 2022

Fart Reading

Commonly used online when someone claims to be a fast reader though they often misread or misunderstanding texts, failing to even see their own misspelling. First became common lingo on 4 chan /pol/.

Anon 1: You misread and turn things into something completely different
Anon 2: I just read fast, nothing wrong with fart reading.

by Marcellus Fredrick Binesworth June 17, 2022

Go read book

Internet phrase that originated from rapper Jaydayoungan's sister's Tweet over the inauthenticity of news reporting her brother's death.

AINT NOBODY FUCKING DEAD STOP DICK EATING AND GO READ BOOK

by i identify myself as a whale July 30, 2022