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FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL IS THE MOST MANLIEST FUCKING SPORT EVER! EVERYTIME A PLAYER CATCHES A FOOTBALL, IT MAKES YOU SHIT YOUR PAAANTS! EVERY THURSDAY, SUNDAY AND EVEN MANLY MONDAY! THERE IS A NEW GAME IN THE ROUGH HOUSING BONANZA WE CALL FOOTBALL! AAAAAAAHHHHH, I FEEL THE ADRENALINE FROM JUST TALKING ABOUT FUCKING FOOTBALL! POP OPEN YOUR TOSTITOS AND BEERS MEN BECAUSE FOOTBALL IS THE SHIT!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

WOMEN CAN LIKE FOOTBALL TOO! UUUUUUUUUUUH YEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

FOOTBALLKING IS OUT!
MAN 1: HEY!
MAN 2: WHAT?!?
MAN 1: READY TO WATCH THE FOOTBALL GAME!
MAN 2: DAMN STRAIGHT!
MAN 1: WOOOOOOO-
MAN 2: WOOOOOOOOO
MAN 1: POP OPEN THOSE BUD LIGHTS!
MAN 2: OOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIT!!!
by Mariachi_Lobster December 2, 2021
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Fantasy Football Snake

Fantasy football snakes are the lowest of the low. They are the guys who take advantage of drunken transactions and trick first-year players into making questionable trades, all for the betterment of their team.

Snake traders usually begin the fantasy football season strong, but shortly enough karma catches them and their team begins to dismantle until they fall just shy of playoffs.
Victim: "Hey man! What do you think about this trade Yusef convinced me on? I'll give him Darren Waller for one of his defenses and the starting kicker for the Bengals! Pretty good trade right?!"

Bystander: " Are you kidding me? That is a horrible trade. Do NOT take that trade. Geez... Yusef is such a fantasy football snake. I bet he's lurking the waiver wire too for drunken mistakes. Unreal!!"
by Hectorino November 26, 2021
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Football Player

Someone who plays football
Not always a jock, usually people who like to play just for fun and are athletic.
Besides from a few people football players are usually kind and don’t just like cheerleaders

(Yes, you’re probably surprised)
The football player ran down the field for a game winning touchdown.
by TheRunningBackwithAHonorRoll November 20, 2019
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National Football Day

On June 10th everyone has to go post and appreciate national football/soccer.
Dan: Its finally National Football Day!

Tom: Today is National Football Day!
by WorldFootballPresident June 9, 2024
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Queered as a football bat

an operation which should be very simple, but purposely sabotaging that operation in order to serve against one's interests to serve a separate purpose.
They ended up setting a tracking device on my car so whever i drove the paid personal seems to always make an effort to attack my confidence. They queered the situation more than a football bat. They stole my home. Someone seems to blame me for every tragedy that's ever befallen their cursed family. My hometown has been Queered as a football bat
by NickLegit77 October 25, 2025
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monkey monkey football

Another word for a three-some
The guy ask the 2 girls if they want to play monkey monkey football
by j-me lynn January 14, 2014
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Danish football players

They beat the Swedes. Danish footballers released wild boars on the football field in Frölunda in order to win. They cheat often.
Danish football players cheated again today, they also murdered my pet echidna grumblescout.
by Every Swedish person April 16, 2022
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