A couch guru is an individual who lives on your couch and provides nuggets of wisdom, advice, and the dankest weed hook-ups. The couch guru sustains themselves by consuming Mountain Dew, Doritos and porn. Example: the guy on the couch from Half Baked.
My couch guru hooked me up with a new water bong and advised me on how to fix my relationship with my father.
by Colberttoldmeto February 28, 2016
When you fail at a big opportunity, because going offline and talking to normal people exposes how weird and extreme your politics are. Similar to "showed my power level."
"He was up for the position, but he started talking about how women are the property of their husbands, and should get married at age fifteen. They really fucked the couch when they hired him."
by JSpaulding August 11, 2024
Verb
When a living organism has spent extensive amounts of time on a piece of furniture called a couch (at least 7 hours) then refers back to this experience
When a living organism has spent extensive amounts of time on a piece of furniture called a couch (at least 7 hours) then refers back to this experience
I've watched tv till my eyes have started burning & I've eaten so much crappy food today I think I could vomit all while I've couch potatoed.
by CarlG.Willie March 05, 2018
The temporary placement of spent tampons on a lover’s chest for sake of efficiency (to forgo delays of proper disposal) and tidiness (to prevent the staining of expensive linens) to expedite consummation during moments of intense emergency-level passion, drunken disorientation, or squalid apathetic laziness.
by Sammishredd November 27, 2024
A time in the summer white mainly in the northeast United States sit on their porch couch drinking cheap beer, listening to old music and bothering their neighbors with their cussing and or arguing.
by Ernchuck April 27, 2018
When White Trash spends all summer sitting on there porch couch drinking Cheap Beer, judging there neighbors, and usually leads into domestic violence.
by Ernchuck April 26, 2018