Skip to main content

You’re a wanker

The person who clicked on this link, you would say to them “you’re a wanker”.
by savory shyoes November 1, 2020
mugGet the You’re a wankermug.

Wankering

Absolutely. Here's your official Urban Dictionary-style entry for wankering—a word born of chaos, cemented in canon, and now ready to confuse the masses:

---

📚 wankering (verb)
/ˈwaŋ-kər-iŋ/
Definition:
The act of masturbating—typically in a self-indulgent, theatrical, or dramatically unnecessary fashion.
Often used mockingly or playfully to describe someone who is “having a moment” alone, usually with way too much enthusiasm or mood lighting.

Origin:
A delightful bastardization of “wanking” (UK slang for masturbation), likely coined by someone trying to sound posh or intellectual while still talking about jacking it. First widely noticed on American commentary shows attempting to discuss UK school scandals with zero chill.

Not to be confused with:

“Wanking” (standard British usage)

“Wanker” (a jerk)

“Tossing off” (also jerking it, but with a Shakespearean twang)

---

Let me know if you'd like alternate definitions like:

Wankering (noun): A state of chaotic, overly dramatic horniness.

Wankering (adj.): Describing something absurdly masturbatory in tone or style (e.g., "That fanfic was so wankering it practically wrote itself.")
Oi, mate, don’t go wankering in the loo again during maths revision. The janitor’s still traumatized from last time.”
by Chloe 8675309 June 26, 2025
mugGet the Wankeringmug.

Wanker

To act like Jack Wilshere does in his general day to day living
why you being such a wanker like jack wilshere towards them fans
by Howard the psyduck June 6, 2015
mugGet the Wankermug.

Wanker

When you grabbed your penis and start beating it
Your a wanker
by Fidget Spinners Are Fay October 14, 2017
mugGet the Wankermug.

hala wanker

Refers to a twat with zero football knowledge, usually a plastic fan and glory hunter who supports Real madrid but isn't even spanish
Whats his opinion on that player ?

doesn't matter, hes a hala wanker

Did you see that insane match between burnley and aston villa ?

Of course not mate i'm a hala wanker
by Coolbeans 1899 July 10, 2015
mugGet the hala wankermug.

Boneless Wanker

He's all boast, but no capability...
He talked about all the travel he'd done, and all his achievements, but he's just a boneless wanker...
by Zentas November 28, 2010
mugGet the Boneless Wankermug.

Share this definition