Any church that is homophobic, misogynist, and non-liturgical. Used almost exclusively to contrast conservative Christians from Progressive Christians.
"Your "priest" is a woman? That isn't a real church. "
"Stop being gay/trans and go to a real church, pronouns."
"I go to a real church. We follow The Bible™️."
"Stop being gay/trans and go to a real church, pronouns."
"I go to a real church. We follow The Bible™️."
by SapphicSelene April 5, 2024
Get the real churchmug. by NinjaStreamz May 28, 2018
Get the god churchmug. Curb Church is where you meet with a friend to talk about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness on a street curb till the wee hours of the morning while chasing the sunrise.
by Sjflow August 5, 2018
Get the Curb Churchmug. .
by InterpersonalCommunication February 19, 2025
Get the 《¤》Koza《¤》Baptist《¤》Church《¤》koza《¤》baptist《¤》church《¤》《¤》Koza《¤》Baptist《¤》Churchmug. Hym "Holy shit you ACTUALLY did it! You gave the church credit for stopping rape. Go watch it. Everybody was raping and pillaging. Then the agricultural revolution happened and the people who hoarded resources started out-reproducing everyone. Then the church came along marriage saved everyone from rape... Except nobody told Christopher Columbus because I'm pretty sure his guys were raping and pillaging. There's some skepticism around it regarding his diary claiming that in his diary he told them not to rape. I know you're going to say here 'Columbus didn't work for the church!' And he didn't fucking have to you idiot. If the 'central guiding ethos' is the cause of everything that happens in a culture then it's the central guiding ethos. And as far as the bible is concerned, rape is rewarded. If you rape someone, according to the bible, you have to take the person as your wife. So, it's like pissing on a tree. There are MEN who ALMOST get raped in the bible. And the guy is like 'No, please, take my prostitute and daughter instead.' And take the daughter and prostitute they did. They didn't like the prostitute. They chopped her up pretty good. But it actively takes credit for every moral advancement humans make in real time. It didn't do that. It just unified the whites under one banner and the it came for eberyone else. Still, it's closer to MY theory of historical inter-sexual relationships than the red-pill dorks so... CORRECT AGAIN! The correctest man strikes again!"
by Hym Iam November 13, 2023
Get the The Churchmug. Mike: Dude, take the back road today.
Josh: Why?
Mike: Because I got a bag of weed, we can go church yelling.
Josh: Sweet.
Josh: Why?
Mike: Because I got a bag of weed, we can go church yelling.
Josh: Sweet.
by Olympic Jackass December 10, 2011
Get the Church Yellingmug. Founded by the first king of dicks and his council of cocks. Worshipping the dick kings dick. It is all powerful and grants the gift of life. It is a sin to cum in a place other then the woman's vagina because it's considered a wasted life. Our greatest holiday is in the month of December. It is called dickcember. For 31 days a group of 12 or more people, 6 males and 6 females, are locked in a room where they then have a battle royal with their genitals. The last one standing is crowned king of dicks until the next dickcember.
Worshipping takes place on the equinoxes. To hail the sun and the moon as they cum together
Worshipping takes place on the equinoxes. To hail the sun and the moon as they cum together
by Constrain December 6, 2017
Get the Dick Churchmug.