God damn it Jarvis, quit actin’ like an old lady playin’ squat tag in an asparagus patch and get movin.’
by Don’tbelievethehype August 1, 2020
Get the Old lady playin’ squat tag in an asparagus patch mug.The ability to 'do Gods work' and ply females full of alcohol in order to assist his fellow man in attracting suitable partners, no matter what the occasion. The asparagash technique is usually attempted via excessive alcohol shots including specially designed mixtures, eg: The Gash Tequila (which is really just a shot of Bacardi 151). If the female in question isn't succumbing to the asparagash charms then a more direct route shall be taken including introducing 'rules' like no holding your drink in your right hand and 'a spills a finish'.
The asparagash technique doesn't take a long time to master however it is commonly accepted among asparagash professionals that you are either born with the gash gene or not. If you are unfortunate enough not to be born with the gene unfortunately you will find it difficult to lower your social conscience in order to 'do Gods work." Your best bet is to befriend an asparagash master and watch in envy of his ability.
The asparagash technique doesn't take a long time to master however it is commonly accepted among asparagash professionals that you are either born with the gash gene or not. If you are unfortunate enough not to be born with the gene unfortunately you will find it difficult to lower your social conscience in order to 'do Gods work." Your best bet is to befriend an asparagash master and watch in envy of his ability.
God she's hot! I'll have to call up the Gashman so he can apply the asparagash technique to give me a shot!
by Wizard Hunter November 4, 2014
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by lil hubie October 28, 2022
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