Customer Logic

Throwing all reasoning out the window and being the stupidest fucking moron you can humanly be.

It operates under three basic principles:

1. Complete lack of accountability (even actively refusing to take any)
2. Complete lack of empathy (i.e. sociopathic behavior)
3. Unwarranted self importance (i.e. severe narcissism)

Formal logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: if you park on No Parkin areas, you get a parking ticket.

Customer logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: OMG IT WAS JUST A FUCKING MINUTE I WILL GO TO THE NEAREST STARBUCKS TO DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THEIR MANAGER AND ASK FOR FREE LATTES FOR LIFE BECAUSE THEY SHOULD'VE TOTALLY WARNED ME ABOUT IT AND WILL SUE EVERYONE BECAUSE MY PARKING TICKET IS EVERYBODY ELSE'S FAULT.

by MrDanteSesma December 16, 2019

Custom cereal

Wen u have cookies in a bowl of milk and mush it up like cereal

I made my own cereal called custom cereal

by Mr jeeper900 March 23, 2023

reverse customer

A customer that you pay, in order to try to make your company seem more popular and to seem to have more customers.

Yay, we just landed our 100th customer, unfortunately the first 99 were reverse customers...

by nixcraft@ April 30, 2009

customer-patient

In the U.S.A., a person seeking non-emergency medical service must first provide proof of insurance and pay money before being examined by medical personnel.

Customer-patient: Help, I've chainsawed my fingers off!

Register Operator/Triage Representative: That'll be 50 bucks.

by Jojo Kimberly July 19, 2017

Customer Splaining

When a customer is trying to explain the job better than the person providing the service.

Customer Splaining: The customer, customer splained how to do my own job.

For example, a customer telling you how to make a latte, when you’ve been a barista for 5 years.

by Local barista August 8, 2023

difficult customer

A polite way of calling a customer a “Cunt”

“This is a bit of a difficult customer”
Really means
“This is a MASSIVE cunt”

by Angry service worker January 6, 2018

Rogue Customer

A rogue customer is one who gives a tradesman a hard time. This could be down to the customer being perdantic or even going to lengths not to pay there bills often leaving the tradesmen without money for a month. There are only a few ways to get back at these bad customers.

http://www.roguecustomers.co.uk
is one such of those and as such members go on and add to the database of bad customers. Traders will one day beat the customer is always right campaign.

Rogue Customer - I am not paying your bill of £5000 because your builder was scruffy in look. The work is perfect but your workman is a mess and i am not happy.

by Reaper!! August 17, 2008