Kinsey Scale

The Kinsey Scale is an apparatus, somewhat resembling a standard bathroom scale, which quantifies whether its user is light in the loafers. Before deployment, each Kinsey scale is taken to gay saunas and drag queen shows to be carefully calibrated, based on this standard:

0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual

The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.

I picked up a used Kinsey Scale in a local department store as part of an ongoing promotion, in which clients are encouraged to collect Kinsey points and redeem them for valuable prizes. Apparently Ellen, the lady on the telly, managed to collect all six Kinsey points and redeem them for a toaster oven - so maybe that's the incentive I should try next?

There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.

by bitchuck August 24, 2024

michael scales

a simp

person 1: who’s the biggest simp you know

person2: michael scales

by amelia07 April 4, 2021

The Prom Night Scale

A Rating Scale ranging from 1-10 used to judge the attractiveness of a female based on how good she would look if she was going to prom.

To calculate a Prom Night rating one must account for professionally done make-up and hair. Spray-tan, self-tanner and other skin enhancing products must be accounted for as well.

Normal Female 1-10 Scale Conversion rate: +2 per point.

Jenny real world: 6
Jenny at prom: 8

Tom: Yeah, I met Jeff's sister the other day.

Mike: Oh yeah? Is she pretty good looking?
Tom: Eh, she's probably an 8 on the Prom Night Scale. .

Mike: That's not too bad if you see her at a wedding.

by JebusHoles December 12, 2016

Scale Of Hurns

Scale by which one can define the power or amplitude of Hurns emission in any situation or event.

Rock n' Roll = Scale of Hurns(+7)

by {p}ole February 23, 2011

Scales

N. A situation of utter misery and hopelessness

"We're in the scales, now"

by Beanboi85 November 3, 2021

International scale of high

The international scale of high, or the Highness Scale is a scale I have devised by myself because I am high out of my mind. The scale is measured in Highs, with 0 being sober and no real limit. Highs are determined by grams of weed smoked in the session divided by grams smoked a month.

John: Dude I’m high

Me: How high
John: Lets calculate it using the international scale of high
Me: that’s fucking dope
John: I’m chilling at too fucking high

by #s r = 2 letters November 6, 2019

Zooted Scale

A scale describing how high someone is through a list of relatable descriptor words.
Please see as followed:
1. Creamed (as high as possible)
2. Zooted
3. Baked

4. Glazed
5. High
6. Lifted

"Hey man, are you okay after smoking that much? You look totally creamed according to the Zooted Scale."

by cactifetish69 April 10, 2021