Kinsey Scale

The Kinsey Scale is an apparatus, somewhat resembling a standard bathroom scale, which quantifies whether its user is light in the loafers. Before deployment, each Kinsey scale is taken to gay saunas and drag queen shows to be carefully calibrated, based on this standard:

0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual

The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.
I picked up a used Kinsey Scale in a local department store as part of an ongoing promotion, in which clients are encouraged to collect Kinsey points and redeem them for valuable prizes. Apparently Ellen, the lady on the telly, managed to collect all six Kinsey points and redeem them for a toaster oven - so maybe that's the incentive I should try next?

There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.
by bitchuck August 25, 2024
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sliding scale

A nutritional supplement, such as Boost Plus or Ensure, commonly used in eating disorder treatment to make up for unfinished components of your meal plan. It is ordered by a registered dietitian.
I didn’t have time to finish the last three bites of my snack so now I have to drink my sliding scale.
by Anxiously September 08, 2019
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Sphincter scale

The measure unit of a fart based on it's intensity/ sound
Ex 1: I just ripped one of 8.5 on the sphincter scale
Ex 2: that wind was for sure a 9.1 on sphincter scale, had it been passed 10 I would've shart those pants
by simdugz February 06, 2025
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scale of autism

A scale from 1 to 10 that you can place people on based on how much they vape per day.
That guy is like, an 8 on the scale of autism. He just ripped the fattest cloud.
by VapeNationXD December 21, 2016
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