“We can’t tell you the pay scale for this job because we are well aware that this position pays low across the entire country, however, we will make it $0.05 above the average of all jobs across the board so we can refer to it as competitive. That’s right, this salary is so competitive that we’re not even gonna tell you what it is. Please apply for this position of our dying company so we can contribute to your sad depressed life and assist you in wanting to put a shotgun in your mouth.”
Job title: Cashier
We offer a competitive salary! Please, please, PLEASE become part of our “team” so that our CEO can continue to wipe their ass with $100 bills while we all continue to eat nothing but pasta.
We offer a competitive salary! Please, please, PLEASE become part of our “team” so that our CEO can continue to wipe their ass with $100 bills while we all continue to eat nothing but pasta.
by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 31, 2022
Get the Competitive salary mug.You can do pretty much anything you want with a computer, like God, but the computer also has free will, God's gift to humans, so it could suddenly crash if it wanted to.
by T Hizzle June 1, 2005
Get the computer mug.by That smartass dude April 10, 2021
Get the complete loser mug.The dumbest and second most pointless class in school besides Geometry. Judging by this site, ya'll need it. It is another excuse to take a 45 min nap before you have to go to lunch and get bitched at.
by Geena Davis May 3, 2005
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A computer is a terrible beast. It secrets vomit, has the ability to rip up a tree in one minute, and has a special tongue to lick it's balls.
Computers are found in many places. They can addict you, and they sometimes look on the internet (a vile network of voodoo telepathy which they use) to find pictures of your friends and family and pretend they're alive even after they are dead.
A computer has several intelligence levels:
PC: As stupid as the user
Super Computer: Unpredictable
Mac: <no intelligence>
A computer often visits sites of pornography so as to participate in virtual sex with another computer. It then blames the creation and visiting of these sites on humans nearby. How arrogant!!!
Computers are found in many places. They can addict you, and they sometimes look on the internet (a vile network of voodoo telepathy which they use) to find pictures of your friends and family and pretend they're alive even after they are dead.
A computer has several intelligence levels:
PC: As stupid as the user
Super Computer: Unpredictable
Mac: <no intelligence>
A computer often visits sites of pornography so as to participate in virtual sex with another computer. It then blames the creation and visiting of these sites on humans nearby. How arrogant!!!
by High Technologist December 15, 2004
Get the computer mug.A college major which is thought to be a great field to enter for a lifelong job. This is true, but there are certain misconceptions to this fact. The only way to get an extraordinary job is to create an app and sell that app to a company on the west coast of the U.S. because they are the only ones interested in doing that and hopefully you get to work for one of those fantastic companies with marvelous benefits. On the other hand, if you fail to be an app developer in selling an app to them, you will end up working a job like in the movie Office Space.
Joey: So what are you going to do with your recently earned computer science degree?
Chandler: Well, I have no app ideas, so I'm just going to go work for Initech.
Joey: That's too bad you are not an incredible app developer with thousands of ideas.
Chandler: Yea, I should have just minored in computer science.
Chandler: Well, I have no app ideas, so I'm just going to go work for Initech.
Joey: That's too bad you are not an incredible app developer with thousands of ideas.
Chandler: Yea, I should have just minored in computer science.
by BigBangTheoryFan2013 July 20, 2013
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