Ate my balls

"Ate my balls" or "I ate my balls" is an expression in the standup comedy community, whereby a comedian goes on stage and attempts to make an audience laugh, and fails miserably, also known as "bombing."

This can be due to either:

The comedian performing the material poorly.

-Or-

An obnoxious, aggressive, or just generally shitty crowd, or rather, that the crowd and the comedian weren't meshing, weren't on the same page comedically.

The expression is used in both cases. The expression seems to be popular with, and may have originated with comedians from the East Coast, particularly Boston; Bill Burr and Jim Norton are examples of comics who frequently use the expression.

"Man this last open mic was brutal, I got up there and ate my balls in front of 20 other angry comics who looked like they were paid to be there."

by The Alaskan Assassin March 8, 2014

my balls are on fire

when you have to piss real bad

is that bathroom open i'm about to piss on this carpet,my balls are on fire.

by Kimmi998 June 3, 2010

hummer my balls

When a worthy dame manipulates your nut-sack with her tongue and lips.

"Hummer my balls bitch"

by Richie January 27, 2004

Wash My Balls

Why don't you bugger off

I'm not interested, wash my balls

by AM999 August 8, 2008

sweating my balls

If somebody desires physical interaction of a sexual nature with you, they are sweating your balls.

"See that chick over there? She's totally sweating my balls"

by Alistair_123 October 6, 2005

Pulling my balls

A slang used when someone is just messing around with you

Tim: Dude, did you do your homework?
Jimmy: We didn't have homework. Dude quit pulling my balls

by Muffdiver25 November 6, 2013

brush my balls

Brush My Balls (verb) - 1) To convince somebody of something that isn’t true; 2) To exxagerate in order to be more convincing; 3) To lie to someone in order to spare their feelings, 4) To literally brush the hairs on a man’s genitalia for the purposes of either eliciting pleasure or grooming an otherwise unkempt ball sack back into a uniform condition so that you can then power suck his nuts without getting too many hairs in your mouth, though you’re bound to get some if they’re not shorn in the first place.

See also: Brushing my balls; Brush your balls; Brushing your balls; Swamp ass grooming, Nut hair shaping, feather dusting, venereal rub, moose massage, taint cleanse, sub power scrub, submarine trim, lie, exxagerate, pull my leg, yank my wad, titty fuck my mind

You: “That’s a really good idea.”
Me: “stop brushing my balls bitch”

Her: “I really like your jokes”
Me: “shut up and start brushing my balls bitch”

Him: Do you want to brush my balls?
Me: No, I want to tell the truth ...(fag)

by Ken1plus2 May 25, 2018