Umpstead Share definition Flag Someone who pretends to be super hot online by using another persons photos, but in real life is a fatty. I met this girl on myspace and she is smokin', but she's probably an umpstead. Umpstead by mister e. you sir February 19, 2009 0 0 Get merch Get the Umpstead mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch