1: the
reincarnation of Jesus, returned to do battle with Godzilla.
2: What Bono would be if he saw his
reflection in the toilet's water and said "Bono. You are a shit."
3:The legendary,immaculately mustached Gypsy prince that has graced the surface of the Earth with his ethnic magnificence for roughly a decade, spreading goodwill and psychotically aroused women wherever he goes due to his unorthodox
masculinity; A machismo that only wanderlust kings can possess after knowing all of the world's lands-and ladies- intimately. His music however, which displays such intense and often fiery conviction, is what will allow the swashbuckling exploits of his companions that came from all of the corners of world to form the covenant-bound Gogol Bordello to live on
until the day that music dies. And then probably even after that, but as a mind-blowing entity existing as a gypsy spirit bestowing luck and sex appeal to all it touches. Eugene Hutz is akin to a modern-day saint, but one that doesn't just bleed and pray. instead, as he suffers for and suffers with us, he drinks, parties and sleeps with us. And occasionally kicks our asses for being lame. Eugene Hutz is the face of all that is awesome including Tai Food and Accordions,perfectly rolled into one genetically superior burrito of an
individual who smells something like the Ukraine, Sex, a Cuban cigar, whiskey, and the life we all aspire to live. Eugene Hutz is a God.
That 90 year old woman was deaf, but when Eugene Hutz sang, she regained her hearing and her libido, became pregnant, and then gave birth to an angel all before he had finished saying that the women in town never get wet.
All Joannas approve of this man and
have been impregnated with his children, so that they may make little Hutz's that will
generate a fashion revolt.