Crotch Goat Share definition Flag Someone who cuts or chews pubic hair with their teeth, as a goat would eat grass. "I let that guy go down on me, but he was a total crotch goat so it was such a turn-off." Crotch Goat by heyheyheyhey12345asdf April 1, 2010 0 0 Get merch Get the Crotch Goat mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch