Constimate 

To legitimize a marriage by have anal sex for the first time.

"Hey did you and Mary constimate the marriage yet?" "Yeah man she couldn't poop for hours after."

Constimate by SemiNation October 18, 2014

constimate 

to get with, date
(constant + mate = constimate)

Girl One: Nicole, you and him should really constimate! You are so cute together!

constimate by xnicole123 September 21, 2011

Constipation Proclamation 

The declaration that all must eat fruit and food high in bran to help the flow of certain things coming out of the body

The president signed the constipation proclamation stating all must eat vegetables and fruits, and things high in bran

Constipation Proclamation by funkymonkey2552 November 29, 2009

vacation constipation 

Losing the ability to poop when you lose that home field advantage.

May be a result of changes in eating and drinking habits, elevation, fiber intake, stress, etc.

Vacation constipation is usually followed by a glacier dump.

I'm having a horrible case of vacation constipation...can't wait to get back home and drop a couple belt notches.

vacation constipation by nofx9019 September 6, 2010

constipation 

when you've gotta go, but you're ass says no

chips got constipation

constipation by botaf November 11, 2003

Constipated 

The Shit don't come out

Me: Doctor! I think i'm constipated.
Doctor: What did you eat?
Me: Really nothing but i did shove flex tape up my ass.
Morgan Freeman: And the moral here is.. Don't shove flex tape up your ass

Constipated by qwertyhujkjhgfdfgbnmhbg October 30, 2018

Constipatory 

Foods that make you constipated

Jesse: Man my ass is leaking juice everywhere
Rob: Dude, eat some real cheese, it's a constipatory and will cork that shit

Constipatory by EatABagOfDicks! April 21, 2015