Alan Colmes 

1. One of two moderate Democrats on FOX news, the other being Gretta Van Sustren.
2. Hannity's biatch.
3. The Squirrely-est man alive.

1. "Hi this is Alan Colmes for Hannity & Colmes, let's see what the top headlines for "On the Record" With Gretta Van Sustren are tonight, probably something about Scott Peterson for the 359th day in a row"
2. Colmes- "Well I think--"
Hannity- "Shut the fuck up Colmes, I own this show"
3. Squirrel #1- "Man, I really love that Alan Colmes, he really shows how us Squirrels can become successes on T.V."
Squirrel #2- "Agreed"

Alan Colmes by Flint Johnson December 11, 2004

Alan Colmes 

1. Democratic voice of the show Fox News Channel show Hannity & Colmes, who really isn't much of a voice. He sits there and just get pummeled by his little douchebag, prick conservative counterpart.

2. Nutless, lack of gonads, No ballz.

Wow! That girl is beautiful, but I'm too Alan Colmes'd to talk to her.

Alan Colmes by Scandar April 20, 2006

Alan Colmes 

Co-host of "Hannity and Colmes" on FOX news who claims to be a 'Liberal' while attacking other Liberals.

EX:

TED RALL, COLUMNIST AND POLITICAL CARTOONIST: There is no respect for a man who...

COLMES: So why say with all respect? Isn't that hypocritical? Because you're not showing any respect.

RALL: It's called sarcasm, Alan.

COLMES: Look, Ecclesiastes says for everything there is a season and I think there's a time. I've spent many years being critical of Reagan's policies, and I'm sure the time will come once again to debate those things.

RALL: Clearly, I mean, I'm just...

COLMES: You need to understand my question.

BOOKS by Alan Colmes: Red, White, and Liberal

Alan Colmes isn't a liberal.

Alan Colmes by 123456789099876543234567 November 6, 2004

Alan Colmes 

One ugly bastard; a weird-looking liberal pansy who is the co-host of FOX News' "Hannity & Colmes"; the former name mentioned in the title of that show is the better one, of course. Is very ignorant of the truth, and doesn't get his facts straight before making his typical left-wing remarks. Speaking of typical, he is very ugly like the majority of Democrats.

I'm suprised Sean Hannity (The smart and far better-looking one) and Alan Colmes haven't already killed each other, or at least been fighting and literally being at each others' throats several times.

Alan Colmes by Flatlander April 16, 2005