proximity friendship 

A friendship that is formed when two people are put in a situation outside of their control. Most applicable when the two individuals have little in common and otherwise would not form a relationship.

Jim: "So how did you and Bob meet? The two of you don't seem like you have much in common."
Frank: "I was on a skiing trip and Bob and I ended up on the same gondola...I guess you could call it a proximity friendship."

proximity friendship by Jonny T October 1, 2007

Portico Primate 

A polite way to call a person of African American decent a porch monkey. Often used to offend a person without them getting mad at you.

(White guy) You are such a Portico Primate

(Black guy) Um . . . . okay?

Portico Primate by Big AL inc. June 19, 2011

proximity mine 

Pooping into the tank of a toilet, and taking the float out. This will make poopy water overflow from the toilet tank. The pure genious of this action is that most people almost always leave the bathroom while the tank is still filling.

"I went to that frat house last night and planted a proximity mine, by taking the float out and pooping in the tank of one of their toilets."

proximity mine by Pantanto April 30, 2004

proximity sensor 

The nerve sensor inside your rectum that causes you to feel an increasing urgency to poop the closer you get to a toilet. The proximity sensor is activated by an already present need to take a crap. Once in the vicinity of a restroom, your proximity sensor will alert you that you are running out of time to reach the toilet and drop your pants, or suffer the consequences...

As I walked towards the bathroom, cheeks tightly clenched, my proximity sensor went crazy and I nearly pooped my pants before I could sit down.

proximity sensor by igottago... July 29, 2011

Primate 

term that describes a savage action, movement, person, or group

The man went full primate and attacked the child's over-protective father.

Primate by Ben Wallace is #1 October 15, 2017

Proximity Tech Support 

When your computer program isn't working right but when a friend or co-worker stands next to you, it starts to work, even though they hadn't done anything to assist you.

-Will you just come and stand next to my computer? I need some proximity tech support.
-Ah, thanks! Now its printing.

Proximity Tech Support by Cherhawkinof October 16, 2009

proximity fuck 

To engage in sexual relations with the person who is the nearest geographical distance to you. This usually occurs without regard for self worth.

Although Alan had been making eye contact with the fetching young woman across the bar, he decided to indiscriminately proximity fuck the less attractive, unsavory woman to his immediate right, out of ease.

Following the devastation of Tom's breakup, he went to a bar and proximity fucked the first woman he met.

proximity fuck by SaucyK February 6, 2012