Beat Off Blister 

The blister you get on your pecker shaft when you've masturbated so hard and so much. It only gets worse if you keep beating off. But why would you when it makes your Peter popper poop so good?

I don't have a girlfriend. I only have beat off blisters.

Beat Off Blister by Jellystone October 27, 2018

Beat off Like a Monkey 

To masturbate with one hand while slowly defectating in your other hand. Then when experiencing climax you cum and fling the feces as hard as you can simultaneously.

"Dude whats that stain on the wall?"

"I Beat off Like a Monkey the other day."

"Haha sick!"

Beat off Like a Monkey by sjp092 February 16, 2010

Beat off music 

An expression typically used in the American Midwest to describe any song on the radio that is truly pleasing to the ear canals.

*Livin’ on a Prayer comes on the radio*

Person 1: “Aw man this is beat off music!”

Beat off music by BeatOffMusician July 21, 2018

Beat off formula 

100 - (length of dick in inches / time since last nut in hours) * 100 = odds out of 100 to beat off

use the beat off formula to see if you can bust.

Beat off formula by Elspencico June 3, 2019

beat off kid 

some one who beats off nearly 24/7/365 and lets the wold know

Sean Connary: "I caught you jacking off"

beat off kid by Mr. Callhan June 11, 2006

beat-off mouse 

an extra mouse laying around that the user puts in place of the main mouse. the user can then proceed to use both dick infected hands on this mouse. It avoids having to wipe your main mouse again when your right hand just wasn't cutting it enough. the beat-off mouse does not have to be cleaned.

inconsiderate assholes only use one mouse. your friends use that computer too, buddy!!

Same thing goes for the beat-off keyboard

God Danit Jim!! My hand is all sticky!! Did you switch out the beat-off mouse!?!

beat-off mouse by Chenry08 January 2, 2009

beat-off baguette 

The act of beating off in a hollowed-out, warmed up baguette. When you blow in the baguette, you hand it to your girlfriend/boyfriend to eat as a surprise.

"Dude, I made my girl a beat-off baguette, and she couldn't believe it!"

"While I was still working at the bakery, a customer swore at me, so I went behind the counter and made her a fresh beat-off baguette. That bitch had that coming."

beat-off baguette by The Dangerous One45 April 3, 2014