turtlestach Share definition Flag inserting the finger in the anus and smearing reminates upon the upperlip of a bud, also called a hittler. Doug kicked Steve's ass for giving him a turtlestach lastnight. turtlestach by naughty noel June 20, 2009 0 0 Get merch Get the turtlestach mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch