Easter 

A lame ripoff of the Great Pumpkin.

Each Easter, Jesus rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere.

Easter by America Lover 🇺🇸 April 20, 2019

Easter 

Holiday that celebrates Jesus' respawning.

Lucky for Jesus that on Easter no one was camping his spawnpoint at the time of his respawning.

Easter by :/ August 6, 2004

easter 

A DEVILISH HOLIDAY MADE TO MURDER INNOCENT EGGS BY PLAYING MANY GAMES, FOR EXAMPLE THERES A GAME WHERE YOU GOTTA FIND THE EGGS HIDDENT BY EVIL AND HEARTLESS MONSTERS AND THEN EAT THEM (if they are chocolate eggs). AND THERES ALSO A GAME WHERE YOU GOTTA HOLD AN EGG WITH YOUR SPOON SO IT DOESN'T CRACK AND DIE, YES PEOPLE, DIE.

easter is so evil wth

easter by GiantEnemyAnt February 22, 2022

Easter 

The holiday celebrated for the day in which Jesus's pet rabbit mysteriously laid eggs and painted them strange colors to hide them from the evil Jews.

This Rabbit theory is the only possible explanation for our Easter traditions.

Easter by Mosier17 June 7, 2007

Easter 

It obviously is an adjective that is better than best.

Good Friday... Easter Sunday.

Jesus died on good Friday, but it was even BETTER when he came back to life.

So Easter > Absolute Best.

"Hey man, you going to church for Good Friday?"
"No, way, I'm saving all my church time for Easter Sunday, it's better."

Easter by Vinwayne April 10, 2009

Easter 

A holiday featuring fertility symbols such as eggs, rabbits, and maidens dressed in white that pagans celebrate, named in honor of the godess of fertility known as Eostre, Astarte, Ashtoreth, Isis, Vishnu, Venus, etc. depending on when and where the pagan is from.

Nowadays, most of the pagans pretend that Easter has something to do with Jesus so they can pretend to be Christians. They've already given Christendom such a bad name doing things like this that it isn't even worth their effort to pretend to be Christian any more, so they only continue the custom out of habit.

I prefer honest pagans and Real True Christians to those who pretend Easter has something to do with Jesus.

Easter by Downstrike May 24, 2004

Easter 

The celebration of a bearded man called Jesus Christ, who died on a cross and rose again, resulting in future workplaces and schools closing while people eat chocolate Easter eggs.

Hey! Put down that tax return and have an egg! It's Easter!

Easter by Jane Wellington January 5, 2004